House of Soga

If Only We Were Perfect...

2011-05-09T09:23:00.000-07:00

It's been years since I've experienced this much emotional turmoil. The last 8.5 years have been so normal and domestic. I've come to some strange place in my life where I don't know if I've grown into my 35 years and this is what comes next on the road of adulthood, or am I still a needy child that just needs a hug and a silent fishing trip with dad?

My father is at a very fragile time in his life and I think I may be, too...as a result. I was his buddy. I was his pal. He was my hero.

Mother's Day was all about dad. His daughters and all four grandkids were under one roof yesterday for the first time in four years. I couldn't tell how he felt about it. He looked as if he would cry just as we were all leaving.

I wish I wasn't so aware of myself. I wish I didn't feel so deeply. I wish I could just flash-forward three years into the future and all of this was a fading memory. Dad would be gone, but not forgotten and the pain would be so much less.

I don't want to be here. I can't do this. I want to be numb. I want to sleep through it.

I don't think I am going to survive losing him.

What They Don't Tell You...

2011-05-09T08:28:00.000-07:00

I've been on Vicodin and Norco for MONTHS; since December. Vicodin for the knees; patellofemoral syndrome and arthritis, then Norco for foot surgery. Norco has just that much more hydrocodone in it.

Fine and dandy for pain management, all is well when the Rx keeps getting refilled, knees feel great, new titanium hardware in the foot feels great.

Then the surgeon says, you're healed up enough to all of a sudden stop the Norco and start taking naproxin; if you need pain management for the knees, you'll have to be re-examined by your GP.

Great.

I'm okay with that.

What I'm not okay with is that I'm running around the house acting like Mark Renton and I don't remember scoring a part in Trainspotting.

Where was the education on withdrawal, and sweaty palms, and twitching, and restlessness, and shivers, and cold sweats? How about some weaning?

Feeling slightly betrayed and somewhat uncomfortable right now.

Palms are dripping on the keyboard.

The last three days has been hell.

The Kids are Brilliant

2011-05-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

Children are shiny, bright spots in the bullshit that is life. What am I going to do when they are teenagers; sarcastic and pessimistic? I guess I'll have to get a kitten.

Since making the decision to quit my job as a stay-at-home mom last Summer, I've been really missing my kids. Within the last few weeks I've been trying to pay more attention to them; watch them and soak them in, burning memories of them doing every day things into my brain.

They do make me happy; truly and sincerely.

Every morning, Jo and I take Toshi to school. While I lock the house and unlock the car, I see Jo kneeling in the driveway, poking and fingering roley-poleys (every child's technical name for the Pill Bug). I just yell for her to get off the ground and get into the car.

Today, I witnessed her place a roley-poley into the ferns and tell it, "Safe and sound, little guy".

Apparently, it is her mission, on a daily basis, to rescue at least one roley-poley from doom in the driveway. This is what she has been doing all these months while I fiddle with locks, while Logan waits half asleep to be delivered to school..Jo is saving the roley-poleys from certain death. What would they do without her?

What would I do without her?

Day of the Dead

2011-05-05T11:50:00.000-07:00

Took a day off from work today to process the state of things...a mental health day.

My father was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer three weeks ago. We all knew before he knew; he was under anesthesia the entire day for testing.

The doctors told us, then reviewed his options with us. When we had composed ourselves, they woke him up and gave him the news.

He was expecting to wake up to an ulcer, colitis, crohn's disease...anything but stage 4 cancer.

I've been in denial. I've been on autopilot. Not dealing with anything. Not wanting to think about anything...not wanting to be here.

The reality is sinking in. It's all very real now.

My father has terminal cancer; it has invaded his entire torso. His options are chemo-therapy in order to stave off the inevitable for an undetermined length of time, or, hospice care.

Either way, my father probably won't live to see 2012.

I know he's going to die. I just don't know when.

This is Your Life, Charlie Brown

2011-05-04T20:12:00.000-07:00

So, we've had interesting lives with less than ideal childhoods...

Lives not so interesting in the way that movies are made based on our misadventures, but lives unlike the lives we saw our friends living.

It's interesting to hear my sister recount an experience we both have memory of. The differences at the time were that she was older and a little more perceptive...and that I was in her version of the memory. She saw me, watched me going through my motions and was faced with the responsibility of, well...me.

5/4/11

text sent

3:05pm

I know it's going to happen no matter what. I feel like may we should let him go naturally. What happens now? What if the chemo shrinks the tumor and they take it out? What then? I feel like giving up on everything.

Sorry to be a downer. Life sux. What happened at the appt?

text received

3:47pm

He broke down and cried in doc appt and so did I. Text u more later.

4:46pm

Okay he is resting and we are getting his ensure, Gatorade, and meds. If he keeps having **** then he has to come back to hospital for fluids.

The doc said after his second treatment they will re-evaluate if the chemo is worth doing.

The tumor is not operable due to where it is.

text sent

4:54pm

I am on my way home. I can't be at work. Call u in a bit.

text received

5:29pm

I hope you feel better. I think I am going to take leave next week. Dad goes back for an appt on 11 May @ 1100. Mom has appt tomorrow.

text sent

5:30pm

God I am so sorry for you. I suck. You are overwhelmed with doing all of this for them and having it all in your face and here I am having a pity party. You are the one that should be having a breakdown.

text received

5:34pm

You don't suck Mary. We all handle stressful and sad situations differently. Trust me, I have my moments when waves of emotions hit me when I least expect it. Right now, it's my job in a way to may sure he gets to his appointments and to make sure mom gets to hers. I wish there was a way to make them both relax.

text sent

5:38pm

I am sorry. One of these days I will be the strong one for you.

text received

5:53pm

I know you will be.

text sent

6:13pm

Do you remember when mom and dad got in that huge fight on Guam and his head was split open? I thought the world was ending. I ran out of the house crying, I didn't know where I was going. I just kept on running until you caught me. That's how this feels. I feel 6 and I am running down the street crying because my dad is hurt and I don't know what to do.

text received

6:19pm

I do remember...I never forget. He tried to kill himself that night. It was my job then to take care of you all, just like it is my job now. I know we aren't close location wise, but try to feel that I am taking care of you too by taking care of them. Love u.

P.S.

U had your cookie monster doll that night.

text sent

6:21pm

I remember you were so grown up that night. I was amazed at how you knew to pour the booze down the sink.

I loved that stupid doll.

text received

6:24pm

The eyeballs made sounds.

text sent

6:25pm

For some reason I thought there were chocolate chips inside his eyes making the sound.

text received

6:25pm

Too funny...what a life we have had.

Do What You Like...

2011-04-17T12:36:00.000-07:00

As Digital Underground once told the world...Do What Cha Like.

Life is too short to not do what you like. I've been looking back at my blogs, my photography and other hobbies I have, none of which will pay my bills, but they bring me joy and give me an outlet.

It saddens me that I have let it all fall by the wayside.

I have made promise to myself. I will pick up where I left off, as soon as I am healthy.

I will be remembered for my creativity, my photography and for doing what I like.

I'm a Loser, Baby...

2011-04-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been overwhelming to say the least. I've had it in the back of my head for the last 2-3 years that my father could go at any time. He's been ill on and off for years. If it wasn't his heart it was his diabetes.

I always thought it would be his heart.

Turns out it's going to be cancer that takes him. No one ever suspected. We have a few more months with him.

This whole thing has me examining my life.

Did I do anything that my dad can be proud of me for?

My sister has degrees and is a jet engine mechanic in the military.

What do I do?

I take pictures, dabble in graphic design and I make tee shirts. I write emails for a living and I am certified in three completely unrelated fields none of which I will ever work in because I hate them.

I have achieved a mystery grab-bag of randomness and I fear that I have nothing for my father to be proud of before he passes away.

I can only hope that he sees my non-professional accomplishments, Logan and Johanna, as something fabulous.

Dream a Little Dream...

2011-04-14T10:39:00.000-07:00

So, I'm taking Norco. I say this with no shame as I am aware of the addictive qualities and, yes, I have been worried about becoming addicted. I am using them less and less every week as I heal so, my loved ones can rest assured that the only problem I have with Norco is constipation.

Anyway, the Norco-induced dreams are insane. Not magical and psychedelic like Ambien-induced dreams.

Ah...Ambien...

These are cluttered and tense.

The last few nights have been about "looking" for something and not being able to find it. Every night it's a different object. The night before, it was my car...forgot where I parked it, wandered miles to find it. NEVER found it.

Last night, I needed nylons. Wandered the streets of London which appeared to be in the Middle East. Hit a spa on my search, sat in their hot tub and didn't pay them. I was mad they didn't sell nylons. Found all sorts of interesting and unique paraphernalia on this journey but never a pair of nylons. Frustrating, to say the least.

What does all this searching mean? I don't know.

Perhaps, it's about not being able to walk? I did walk all over hell and back in these dreams.

Perhaps it's about losing myself and the 7 year search to find out who I am?

Perhaps, it's just that I'm crazy?

What will I be searching for tonight? I hope I find it before I wake up.

Post Op Thoughts

2011-03-26T18:48:00.000-07:00

I've been confined to the sofa since Monday evening. Cabin fever is setting in.

I think I've lost weight; husband is only opening the kitchen at his leisure. I suppose it could be the constant diet of norco and water.

He has decided to sync everyone's mealtimes so he isn't in the kitchen all day trying to feed three helpless babies.

"Kitchen is CLOSED!", he shouts.

I figured out how to wash my hair making use of the aerobic step. Good thing I didn't get rid of it after finding out my my patellofemoral syndrome is too horribly painful to enjoy step aerobics. I can't wait to take a REAL shower.

The children are awesome helper monkeys.
"Go get this! Go get that! Turn that light off! Can I have my purse!? I need a fork!".

The 31st seems like it's a year away. I pray my doctor doesn't put me in a full cast. I can't handle the half cast, therefore, I will not survive the full cast.

I am going to argue for a boot. That will allow me to A. shower and B. SCRATCH.

I finally found a great tool for itching...a fork. It doesn't go all the way to my ankle, but my calf had a good scratching this morning.

I can't wait to see what the incision and stitches look like.

Another First...

2011-03-26T18:33:00.000-07:00

So, I've had surgery in the past but they don't count.

All four wisdom teeth were removed at the age of 16. I wasn't completely knocked out, though I think I was supposed to be (good enough for government work...go Air Force!). That experience was slightly traumatizing, to say the least. I got the impression they weren't expecting me to wake up...they looked a little surprised.

When I was 27, I had a hemangioma removed from my right-hand ring finger. I watched the removal with just a local anesthesia; that was gnarly and pretty cool all at once.

So, I always had to answer NO when I was asked if I had had any surgical procedures in the past. They tell me those don't count. They wanna know about the BIG stuff. Now, I can answer YES at all subsequent medical visits because I had my first major surgery on Monday. This one counts.

If I say BUNION or BUNIONECTOMY, it doesn't sound major, mainly because people aren't certain of what a bunion is. Is it a wart? A fungus? A corn?

It's worse than it sounds. It's a bone deformation and I basically had foot reconstruction.

I have to give Kaiser kudos. I woke up the morning of the surgery, had an anxiety attack and really thought I was going to have a horrible experience. That wasn't the case and it all went so seamlessly.

Everyone knew it was my first surgery and really cared about how I was doing and making me comfortable. The nurses were so genuine and friendly. My doctor rocks. All in all, it was a great experience as far as being knocked out and having my foot hacked open goes.

5 stars to Kaiser Manteca.

It's 2011!!

2011-01-22T21:12:00.000-08:00

Not that that means anything. I've made no resolutions, as usual. Slacker, procrastinator, realist...that's me.

If I don't publish my expectations for myself, then I don't let anyone down. I think I said this for 2010.

Anyway, I wanted to 'BLARG' because I did say I would do that a bit more often, as I used to do, before my life became a whirlwind of gawd-knows-what.

Oh, yeah. I went back to work. Photography on the back-burner. School on the back-burner. Sister Mary Designs on the back-burner. Life on the back-burner...essentially.

What's exciting and new these days?

Surgery coming up to celebrate my 35th birthday. BUNION surgery; so not only am I turning 35, but I'm having a surgery that sounds like something only old ladies have done.

Awesome. Come visit. I'll be home for a week...getting by on a combination of Norco and whiskey, I hope.

Butterflies and Desk Jockies

2010-08-05T22:00:00.000-07:00

Feeling pretty fabulous today. Took myself out to do some celebratory shopping in honor of my official return to the work-world.

Since the birth of my daughter in 2006, I had attempted to go back to work on a couple of different occasions trying my hand at insurance sales and failing miserably, then working for a small business owner who turned out to be a whack-job, wing-nut...and just plain crazy.

Turns out, as much as I hated corporate America and being a desk jockey (before becoming a stay-at-home-mom), corporate America and desk jockeying are what I am good at.

I can't wait to find myself back in a cubicle...a warm, cozy cubicle. No, really. I mean that with overwhelming enthusiasm.

This marks the next phase in my life as a mother; the kids in school and not needing my 24-hour attention.

Because I need more change, right? My life has been nothing but ever-changing since motherhood was thrust upon me. A person can only handle so much change in such a short time.

Does it get a little more routine from this point?

I'd like an order of routine with a side of boring, hold the mayo.

I don't think I can fly by the seat of my pants any more. I'm getting too old for that.

Motherhood has a way of putting your entire life into beautiful perspective and f*cking it all up at the same time.

Anyway, I don't know whether to be sad that my children are beginning that school phase or to be tickled to death that I can now leave the house and be without them.

If it seems selfish to relish the thought of wearing more than just Yoga pants and flip flops every day and being with adults for a change, well...call me a selfish b*tch and stick a fork in me, because I'm done.

Feeling a Bit BLOGGY

2010-08-05T16:26:00.000-07:00

A bit groggy, too. I miss my blog. I believe I will spend time in the House of Soga tonight.

I Haven't Touched a Computer in AGES...

2010-06-28T16:25:00.000-07:00

Something must be wrong with me. It's not that I haven't really had time, I just haven't had the desire. Like I said...something must be wrong with me.

It's very unlike me.

It's like the Prozac kicked in and now I don't need my e-fixes...or something.

I'm failing in my status as G33K.

I can only hope that somewhere, in a parallel universe that there is a parallel me that is digital photo-ing, graphic designing and blogging her arse off with a good smattering of Morrowind and Dungeon Siege sprinkled into the mix.

I'm tellin' ya...something is wrong with me. I must have been abducted by aliens...AGAIN!

Phrase Captcha of the Day

2010-05-03T22:36:00.000-07:00

"The Taoisms"...

Needs no further explanation.

I Don't Care That You're Unhappy

2010-05-03T15:14:00.000-07:00

Johanna cried because she was sweating during the last leg of our ride as she desperately tried to keep up with us, pedaling like the wind...or a tiny breeze...Mama told her, "Get over it. It's a part of life".

Logan had a good time and did so well; the flames on his orange bike shimmered in the sun.

We're doing it again tomorrow and Mommy's going to have a good time whether you're miserable or not.

Groovy

2010-05-02T23:47:00.000-07:00

I seem to have lost my groove. Haven't touched a camera in over a month and I don't care. Something must be severely wrong with me.

That sucks.

This is it

2010-04-30T09:22:00.000-07:00

I keep thinking that this is about the extent of my greatness.

I'll never be anything more than just a mother. It's hard to get around. I can't just walk away from it.

I do love being a mother. Though, it's no easy task. It's hard. It's extremely hard.

Not everyone can do it and of those that are doing it, not everyone can do it well. Hell, I don't even know if I'm doing it well.

I do know that I feel the need for something else, something that is "me" and not "them".

Motherhood just happened upon me when I wasn't thinking about it, in fact, I was thinking about college and a career. If I had had a choice, I would have waited a few more years. I wish I had "found myself" before having kids.

I have chosen the wrong career path several times since becoming a mother and all I have to show for it is random knowledge and a pile of useless certificates.

In the end, I always end up just being a mother.

I think I've finally figured it out, but, I also think, "Is it too late?"

My kids are so small and will need years more to come of my being home and available to them. I'm going to need to go back to school...yet again...but when I do, it's going to be for what I want to do and not for what's practical.

Don't get me wrong, I love my children with all my being, but, I lost myself somewhere during this motherhood thing.

Regret my children? Never. It's a double-edge sword. I regret not getting myself sorted out before they arrived, but I would never give them back.

I just hope they'll have a better life plan than I did.

And now I know...and hindsight is 20/20.

No Dancing

2010-04-29T09:23:00.000-07:00

When reprimanding your child keep all humor to a minimum. In fact, put it away completely.

When dropping the big one off at school this morning, did I really expect him to take me seriously when I blurted, "No dancing! I'll be watching you!"...um, yeah, that was serious authority right there.

He laughed. I laughed, too.

But, I meant it. NO DANCING. I WILL BE WATCHING.

The Organizational Skills of My Cats

2010-04-19T13:51:00.000-07:00

Upon going about my normal household "doodies", I discovered something intriguing whilst cleaning the litter boxes.

My cats have begun to "organize" their excrement.

Urine in the left box, feces in the right box.

What I want to know is how did they organize this?? Did they discuss it??

Ya know...it doesn't make my job any easier, guys. I still have to dig around in your stench...no matter how you organize it. Though I do appreciate your kitty compulsions.

Put a Shirt On!

2010-04-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

It's a little early to launch this site. I haven't built a website yet and the store isn't even full, but my logo is cool so what the heck?

Put a shirt on!!

(I have too many hobbies)

Makes Cents

2010-04-17T14:59:00.000-07:00

Going from 2 incomes to 1 income has been hard and that's putting mildly. Since the birth of our second child, I have gone from spoiled and kept to uber budget shopper.

When I first began grocery shopping on a budget I wasn't very smart about it and wasn't very good at it...so were were hungry...A LOT.

It's been a few years and I've found creative ways to stretch a dollar. I knew I needed to change how I shopped and where I shopped.

To start out, I began shopping at grocery outlets. Is a crushed box of cereal or a dented can of soup going to kill us? No, certainly not.

I'm not shopping for aesthetics. I'm shopping for what's inside the container.

Dented containers are far cheaper. The food in a dented container at an outlet store is always in the same condition as the food in an aesthetically pleasing container at the big name store.

Let's not forget generic or lesser-known brands that still feed the family just as well as the well-known brand names.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with these concepts.

After shopping this way for some time, I noticed an evolution in my way of thinking about shopping. Not only do I want to stretch a dollar, I also want to stretch a product as long as possible.

So, why would I buy 2lbs of sliced ham at $6.00 per package from the deli aisle when I could buy a 10lb pork butt for $9.00?

Let's slice that pork butt thin and double, nearly triple, the amount of sandwich meat we get. We love sandwiches around here.

Let's talk relish. I don't buy relish. Haven't bought it in months because manufacturer's seem to think I need to pay more because they've chopped the pickles for me. I don't "relish" the thought of paying for relish.

If a 7oz jar of relish is the same price as a 17oz jar of sweet pickles, why would I buy the relish? I will put those damned sweet pickles in the blender, add some spices, and make my myself a 17oz jar of relish.

Flour is something we always, always have in the house. I can now whip up a mean apple coffee cake out of thin air. 1 bag of flour costs less than a few boxes of cake mix and lasts twice as long. No more buying cake mix.

I may have to do some extra cooking in the kitchen (nothing wrong with that), but I can't afford to pay for convenience anymore and I've come to a point where I don't mind it as much as I used to. In fact, the challenge has become quite enjoyable.

The moral of the story?

Get creative, think resourceful, save a few bucks...learn to cook as a side effect.

What About Bob?

2010-04-16T13:49:00.000-07:00

It's a classic Robert day.

I'm doing my usual combo of housework, mommy-tasking, g33king out, and enjoying some classic film.

They don't make'em like they used to...

Wow! I know, right? I live like a rock star?

(I really need a social life.)

So far, we've viewed a Robert Cummings film and a Robert Montgomery film...and I got to thinking about the Bobs.

Here's a list of Bobs worth watching...

Bob Montgomery

Bob Taylor

Bob Cummings

Oh, yes...Silent Bob

Poor Mama's Outrageous Ghetto MacGyver Pancakes

2010-04-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

There is NOTHING in the house to slap together for a meal!

Okay, there is, but nothing I want to use.

Had a craving for pancakes but we're out of Bisquick.

Who says you can't have breakfast for dinner?

The Man thought I was nuts but seriously? What did the Pioneers use to make hot cakes back in the day? Flour, right?

So I got creative.

2 cups self-rising
1 cup French vanilla coffee creamer (non-fat)
1 cup water
2 eggs
1/3 cup vegetable oil
cloves and cinnamon to taste
vanilla extract to taste (optional)

Beat with electric mixer and fire up the griddle.

Voila. Breakfast...er, uh, dinner is served.

The family ate them all. Not one left. Logan ate about 7 of them...kid is a pig.

So, if you're out of Bisquick, these will do in a pinch!

Thank the Kitchen Goddess that tomorrow is payday!

(Photo of actual Outrageous Ghetto MacGyver Pancake)

Time Heals All Wounds...

2010-04-12T16:25:00.000-07:00

...at least, that's what I've heard and I think that's a bunch of SHITE.

Why did I pretend everything was o.k?

Because.

Because, I wanted it to be o.k.

...o.k. and normal, whatever that was supposed to be.

In some ways I was in denial and that helped me cope, but mostly I was scared.

Pretending everything was o.k. would result in a reduction in the potential for an ass-kicking, physically and mentally, that would no doubt result if I opened my mouth.

I'd like to continue to use the out-of-sight/out-of-mind method of therapy but people don't realize how serious the issue is and continually ask about it, bring it up, and talk about it to me. Let's re-hash it!

Honestly, the separation is no great travesty in my book.

You see...I have a different perspective than all the rest. I was the unfortunate one...simply because I was there.

I hate that I feel some blame for the current state of the relationship. Indeed, I severed the relationship but I have very good reasons for doing so.

Why doesn't anyone ever ask why I don't talk to her rather than telling me that I should talk to her because "she's the only sister I'll ever have".

Really?

You cannot make years of abuse go away by throwing that in there. I'm certain that she didn't think about that while she was verbally, mentally and physically abusing me for most of my life.

Some people are just born vicious. Sociopaths...serial-killers...my sister...

...is a sociopath.

So, does time heal all wounds? I don't think so.

But, do you know what would serve as a good jumping off point to start some of that healing?

Give me a golf club.

Let me beat her about the head and shoulders and see how she likes it.

Hey, mom and dad, did you ever think to ask how I got the black eye and the concussion when I was 11?

Of course not. You were in denial, too.

Blog-therapy to be continued at a Blogspot near you...

Guest Blogging on Budget Wedding Ideas!

2010-04-04T01:07:00.000-07:00

Every now and then I spew on about corner-cuttings and FREE junk. Every now and then I guest blog. Every now and then I combine the two.

Wander over to Ms. Demeanor's Modern Manners and take a gander.

Real tips for real people.

More FREE Stuff: Kindle for Mac Now Available

2010-04-03T08:48:00.000-07:00

Being a lover of Kindle for PC, I just had to tell you that Kindle for Mac is now available for download. Don't you just love it?

It's Addicting...

2010-04-02T20:16:00.000-07:00

Digital scrap-crap and AI meet Blogger background for Ms. Demeanor.

I Really Hate Digital Scrapbooking

2010-03-31T18:53:00.000-07:00

I do. I hate the crap out of it. I like the concept but I think I hate the fact that everything I see is so country cozy, frou-frou and perky. Yuck.

I have yet to see digital scrapbooking with an edge. As a graphic design hobbyist that is asked to design random crap for friends (I REALLY have to start charging!), I kept thinking, "Digital scrap-crap...I want to use this stuff...but for what? How can I take these components and make them my own?".

After being inspired while building my new flash site for my photography, I ventured into the digital scrapbook world. I need a portal so that I can continue using my personal URL because I'm cheap...that's another explanation and another blog...

One thing lead to another...

So, I put my basic graphic design skills to the test and I digital scrapped for the first time.

Well...

Really, it was a quasi-scrapping...for a friend's blog background that I've been working on. I like the way it turned out.

I have to say that I might be in love with this digital scrap crap...but in my own way.

I like it. I really like it.

Cave Dwellers of the World Unite

2010-03-29T17:01:00.000-07:00

Welcome to parenthood: Where being socially retarded is a required skill.

I swear I never used to be such a shut-in. Then I had kids.

Hey! Don't go craving friends! There's no time for that!

Anyway, where does a mother with small children meet other mothers with small children? Don't say playgroups.

Is there a Punk/Goth/Rock-n-Roll playgroup out there where the social rejects gather to be anti-social as a group? Is that why I can't find them? Are they hiding in a dark corner of town? They must be!

No! It's not about letting the kids socialize! Whoever thought of such a thing? It's all about whether or not I want to spend time with you people!

I have to admit, I do know a lot of great moms and non-moms with whom I have everything in common, but those women are a distance away and it pains me. Though, we do have some seriously fun internet gatherings, it just doesn't fill that void completely.

After nearly 7 years in the sticks I have yet to meet one single person I can connect with that would only be a phone call away and over here in 2 seconds to exchange tawdry stories over cocktails with me.

Yes, I am really feeling my isolation lately.

I'll get over it.

I usually do.

My kids will be all the better for having a parent that was always there for them, right? That's what I'm tellin' myself.

Blogged In

2010-02-26T22:18:00.000-08:00

At this point, I think I've got WAY TOO MANY blogs going. I don't even have anything clever to blog about anymore for this one. Momhood has been rather mild lately...though my sanity could use a vacation, otherwise, really nothing to blab about on that front.

I think I recently blogged about my new site makeover for MS Photography via Weebly.com. Come to find out they integrate a blog into your site. So, with my photography blog + my personal blog and NOW + the blog integrated into my site, I'm totally blogged in...

or, blogged out.

-This is clearly my personal blog; a place where I can ramble and blab because I have no one to talk to here (having been in this gawd-forsaken town for 6.5 years, I still have no friends. Is it me? Is it because I don't do country music? Is it because my favorite color is black?). Well, I have Kirstie, my BFF of 24 years, but she doesn't count because she's a million miles away. Anway, she comes here to read.

-Blog number 2, is my photography blog which I was originally using as a supplement to my site (via Godaddy.com) as my site was very limited and I needed extra pages. Being a cheap-ass, I opted NOT to spend more money to upgrade and just used Blogger. Since the site transition to Weebly.com, the makeover and the new integrated blog, I've disassociated blog number 2 from the site and will continue to use it for anything photography related that I may want to participate in (Wordless Wednesday, Fix-it-Friday, etc.) or blab about...photography related, of course.

-Enter blog number 3; the newest blog. This is the integrated blog attached to my website. I'm using this strictly as a photo blog with no text, no typing, no talking. In essence, it displays my non-portraiture. It acts as a portfolio for anything other than the commercial photography. My artistic side, if you will (if I have one!).

HA! I think this post was mainly for my husband's benefit. I was too tired to actually SAY this to him after he asked in a rather dramatic tone, "Dude! How many blogs do you have!".

So, there. It makes perfect sense to me.

Weeble Wobbles??

2010-02-24T14:23:00.000-08:00

No. Weebly. Yeah, I said W-E-E-B-L-Y.

As in www.weebly.com.

Once upon a time, I had a site for my photography...

I also had a photo blog via Blogger.

They were separate but one in the same, one being supplemental to the other. That is, until my husband said, "Dude, you should check out Weebly. I hate your Website Tonight look."

Yeah, he calls me DUDE and maybe he didn't exactly put it that way, but, you get what I'm saying.

Anyway...so now, my site is far more professional in appearance versus what I was getting from Website Tonight (No offense, Godaddy.com, I still love you.) AND I was able to incorporate a photo blog into the site so that they are ALL-IN-ONE as opposed to separate entities. How convenient!

I'd be extra thrilled if my Blogger site wasn't already established and so I will keep it going. I actually have followers if you can believe that, now if they actually look at what I'm posting is another story!!

So, if you need a FREE, EASY, ALL-IN-ONE website and blog combo, check out Weebly.

If you're just plain bored, check these out:

MS Photography

The MS Photography Blog on Blogger

In the World of My Baby Girl...

2010-02-22T21:24:00.000-08:00

My daughter just can't conceive that there was a time in my life without her. In her 3-year-old universe, she was always there and she was always with me and anything before that is inconceivable.

"But where was I?", she asks.

I don't even think her scope of understanding encompasses her brother and that he came first. Can she comprehend that we had a life with him and without her; that he had us all to himself?

It's as if I didn't come into existence until I became mommy. Then POOF! There I was.

You know, spiritually speaking, she may just be right.

I Need The Ability To Stop Time

2010-02-10T18:43:00.000-08:00

I made an unofficial resolution this year having nothing to do with my weight. I wanted to give myself a new focus for the new year, simply because every year, for the last 6.5 years, I tell myself I'm going to lose the baby weight.

Well, I've pretty much been pursuing that goal since giving birth to my first child 6.5 years ago. I've got 35lbs left to lose and, well, that's just an ongoing process whether it's the beginning of the year, the middle or the end.

So, why make that resolution for 2010?

I say I made an unofficial resolution, and I did this so that I wouldn't be disappointed when I couldn't keep my resolution. Not that I ever care that I don't keep my resolution, but making an unofficial resolution just made me feel better for some reason.

Anyway, I unofficially resolved to read more. Don't get me wrong, I read plenty, but I don't read for myself. I read children's books and as stimulating as those are for my children, they leave my brain feeling a wanting for something other than Dr. Suess.

So, it seems I haven't forgotten about my resolution and I haven't let myself down in any way. In fact, I've done the opposite. I'm feeling anxiety over the lack of time that I have.

There isn't enough time in the world for the long list of books I've accumulated for myself.

If only I could be as ambitious with all aspects of my life as I have become with reading.

I started out with six books...alternating...and rotating, trying not to get the story lines mixed up...

Six was a little much to start with. I'm down to two books. I think two books at once is a good endeavor for one that hasn't read much in 5 years.

I never thought the want or desire to read books would cause me anxiety. The discovery of Kindle for PC didn't help my cause...thank you for granting me easy access to public domain literature...can you inundate me any further with a wish list longer than my arm?

I'm not complaining. I just wish I had more time.

A Moment of Silence for Captain Phil Harris

2010-02-10T12:07:00.000-08:00

I won't say much, after all, the post title indicates a moment of silence...

Captain Phil Harris of the Cornelia Marie has passed away while recovering from a stroke. His death was confirmed today. I nearly cried. Captain Phil was my favorite. Deadliest Catch will never be the same. My heart goes out to his boys and his crew.

More Close Encounters with The Fourth Kind

2010-02-08T16:25:00.000-08:00

Follow up to post entitled:
Close Encounters with The Fourth Kind

As for the movie just being a movie...

I really liked it. The meat of the movie is made up of actors doing what they are paid to do...tell a story.

The meat is then spiced with what is supposed to be actual footage and audio clips, because, if you don't know, this movie is based on the experience and testimony of Dr. Abigail Emily Tyler, of Nome, Alaska, and the work she was doing as a psychologist.

She and her husband inadvertently made a connection between sleep disturbances of the Nome residents and alien abduction which then threw her life completely off track.

If you believe what is supposed to be actual footage (I think I believe that it is?? Part of me is still in denial.), then the evidence for alien abduction is frightening and real.

If you don't believe the actual footage and audio clips, it makes for a great thriller and a good date movie. I really had no complaints about the movie as far as movies go. The actors were believable and how could you not love Mila?

All in all, I liked how it was presented and that Dr. Tyler and her work were treated with respect and seriousness. The whole movie had a slight eeriness to it and I think the presentation of the actual footage and audio clips may have lent itself to that.

I give it 2 thumbs up.

Close Encounters with The Fourth Kind

2010-02-08T15:20:00.000-08:00

I think I felt my brain move. That hasn't happened in a long time, at least, not beyond the normal day to day capacity that my poor brain normally functions at...which would be mommy-speed.

Watching The Fourth Kind starring Mila Jovovich was like a dose of acid...it got me thinking...only, without the pretty colors and warm tingly sensation...oh, and without the regrets and wondering when the trip will be over...because they just go on way too long...

Not that I have any first hand experience with acid...okay, nice try, right?

I already fully incriminated myself.

Anyway, had I kept a diary during my less-than-a-handful of acid trips, I'm sure I would have a book unlocking the secrets of the universe...for, the universe was created by a lizard, right?

Ha ha! More than likely, I might have some craziness, that would make no sense to anyone that is sober, accompanied by a lot of little doodles and drawings...and probably some tips on what NOT to do when tripping...like, never look at yourself in the mirror.

What I'm saying is that mind altering drugs seem to unlock a part of your brain that isn't normally firing at full speed and you think about things you never thought you could ever conceive of...and once you're off your high and the trails have stopped by the next morning, you have completely forgotten what you were thinking and couldn't explain it to anyone...not even to yourself, even though, at the time, it was extremely profound and ground-breaking and made perfect sense. The door slams shut on that part of your brain...

The point of all of the above nonsense...

For me, watching The Fourth Kind, opened up a part of my brain that really made some connections that were, for me, startling...and, like the morning after an acid trip, that part of my brain seems to have shut down and I don't think I can explain what I was thinking during the movie...not even to myself. Well, not without sounding crazy.

I nearly rolled off the sofa when I found myself thinking that the Scientologists might actually have something.

What???

Should I put the aluminum foil hat on now?

Believe what you will, and frankly, I'm not quite sure who to believe about when and where man came into existence (is that really for us to know?), but it's fun to think about.

The Fourth Kind draws an obvious connection to Sumerian culture and extraterrestrial beings. As is general knowledge, Sumerians are the earliest known civilization and cuneiform artifacts show depictions of what is believed to be an alien presence throughout their history.

Sumerians are also the focus of alien creation theories, hybridization theories, slave creation theories and the list goes on. I won't go into detail about the Annunaki a.k.a. the belief that the Sumerian gods were actually alien beings and how they created modern man from Neanderthal because that's a completely different post, to be found somewhere else, on some other lunatic's blog.

As for the movie in itself...

Lemme finish up my laundry. I'll be back in a bit...

Pirates in Training

2010-02-03T20:54:00.000-08:00

sailor mouth - 1. The act of spewing forth profanities as if you were a dirty sailor. 2. using excessive profane, or vulgar language...

Yes, I am responsible. This is all my doing and I fully accept the repercussions. I just don't understand why one child is very aware that mommy's spewing forth of profanities is not to be imitated and the other thinks it is something to be emulated...wholeheartedly.

My son adores mocking me. He knows it irks me to no end so he does it with great enthusiasm. I hate it but I do appreciate that when I exclaim, "OH SHIT!"...

He mocks, "Oh POOP!".

When I damn something, "Damn it!"...

He mocks, "Darn it!"...

When I proclaim that I will, "beat your ASS!"...

He mocks, "I will beat your BUTT!!".

Yes, he does replace the BIG "F" with freaking.

Somehow, the older child has learned to replace the off-limit words with age appropriate words; not by my doing, he just does it. Yay for him!

Not so much with the little one. Today, she called her brother a STUPID ASS.

I know!

I have no doubt he did something to deserve her rage but still...

Of course, he immediately turned her in to me, with her following close behind, denying everything.

I accept that I have created this potty-mouth monster and I am very ashamed.

I curse like a sailor. I have to quit and there is no patch for that.

Mom's Are Suckers...

2010-02-03T09:43:00.000-08:00

Let it be known that I have a 6-year-old boy in Kindergarten. From the start of school, in August, up to Christmas vacation, he has been very gung-ho about going to school.

He's popular, he has a lot of friends, the other little boys want to stand next to him in line while waiting for the class door to open, they shout goodbye to him as we walk away after school and then shout it again and again until he responds; he seemed to be enjoying it and always gets a stamp for good behavior...every. single. day. Which, is a surprise to me!

Like I said, he seemed to be enjoying school.

So, why, upon returning to school after Christmas, is he trying his best to get out of going to school?

At first I thought it was the 2 week vacation that threw him off. Then I attributed it to his grandmother visiting for a month, starting during Christmas vacation, and throwing off his groove.

She's been gone a week and a half and so I guess he's still adjusting to our old routine...or, he's just got the Winter blues and he's tired of being trapped in the house where we hide out from the cold weather and rain...he's tired of going to school every day only to come home and do homework and not get to play outside because the weather is severe crap...

He's tapered off trying to say "Oh, I'm sick...it's a holiday today, no school"...so that's a good sign.

He has missed, altogether, approximately 5-6 days total since the start of cold and flu season and I can honestly say that he was sick with a cold. One or two of those days he could have gone and just suffered through it with a cough and a runny nose because his spirits were high and he seemed in a good mood, but I'm a sucker for a sad face.

I'm a sucker. Period.

This morning the weather was wonderful and Spring seems to be poking it's head out of the covers, and so, we walked to school; something we haven't been able to do for months due to the rain and cold. He even took his jacket off and asked me to take it home, that's how nice the morning was.

Upon arrival to the Kindergarten classrooms he was in a hurry to get to the line and hang with his boys but I called him back so that I could take care of his runny nose. He grumbled and rushed me. So, I took this to mean he was anxious to be at school, when suddenly he began clutching his stomach and moaning.

Is he faking? He seemed anxious to be there...or so I thought...

So...

I tell him to stick it out and if it doesn't get better to have his teacher call me and I'll pick him up. I send him to the line and watch him as he continues to clutch his stomach and grimace. I call him over to me, "where does it hurt?"...

"over here"...

he points...descending colon...this is a frequent center of pain so I am familiar with what will happen next...

"You've got to poop, get back in line".

Grimace...moan...grimace...moan...more faces and more moaning...

"Dammit, let's go" because mom's a sucker and if you're not faking it and you're really ill, I'm going to be the biggest asshole ever for making you stay at school.

We stop off at the office and I report that he's going home and here we are.

If I catch him having a good time there is going to be heck to pay.

What a sucker I am.

Sometimes, I'm a Photographer...

2010-01-30T20:51:00.000-08:00

Here's a preview of my latest shoot. Head on over to the MS Photography blog to see more!

Really? You Think I'm That Naive?

2010-01-30T00:54:00.000-08:00

I have a tendency to bottle shit up and brood, resulting in chest pain, so I am making this post to make myself feel better. I know this post will wrinkle a couple of noses but we're all adults and will get beyond it, and still be friends in the morning. I feel I am entitled to a good vent and to make my side clear as I feel things were said without full knowledge of my situation. Actually, I feel it was completely blown out of proportion. Though I appreciate that the hearts were in the right places, it wasn't any less insulting to my intelligence. There are a few points I need to make and I will do that first, as the rest of this post is just me crying and feeling hurt. There is, indeed, method to my madness and perhaps I can make that clear.

The main points I need to make are:
1. I lost nothing as a result of my subjects being late. I actually profited more-so than I had planned.
2. Photo shoots this early in the game are few and far between for me, so I must take what I can get, when I can get it.
3. I am trying to establish myself, and offering a customer-oriented level of service is my way of doing that. I could not turn them away for being late considering they called to let me know and, especially because they are "repeat offenders". THEY CAME BACK A SECOND TIME. If they continue to be happy with my service, chances are, they will tell their friends and family. I can't start being a bitch now.
4. I really needed that cash in my pocket TONIGHT and not next week.

If ever I get to a point where I am booked with 30 shoots a week, I will crack down on lateness as it will be necessary. For now, as I am still establishing a client base. I must do all I can to satisfy those that choose to use my services in hopes they will return and tell everyone they know about me. This must make sense to more than myself and I would be surprised if it didn't.

I am not established, therefore, I cannot begin to turn people away.

This is where I start crying about my pride being bruised and my intelligence being insulted and I do a little bit of repeating myself, which is annoying, even to me...anything below this block is really unnecessary but made me feel better. Feel free to click the red X and get back to your morning funnies.

Tonight, I had a photo shoot to do for a nice family. I've shot them before and I'm grateful that they came back in less than a month following their first shoot. Get the idea? They CAME BACK. (with much sarcasm)

The first shoot was to capture the family and the expected arrival of child number three. Today, they returned to capture the family including their newest addition.

I thank them for that. I appreciate their patronage. I won't say that I appreciate their business because I am not running a business. Not at this point.

I don't have a business license nor do I need one as I am not operating under a DBA, so says the State of California. Considering that I make less than a certain amount of money photographing people in a year, I don't even have to claim this income on my taxes. I don't have enough business to be considered a business.

I am simply a girl with a camera, a knack for using said camera, and a good eye. Currently, I am simply marketing myself by offering very reasonable rates and very agreeable customer service in an attempt to establish a client base.

Flies with honey...yadda, yadda, yadda...

Once I am a bad-ass, and have clients coming out of said bad-ass, I can start being a snobby bitch who can afford to turn paying clientele away and tell them to go jump in a frozen lake if they're gonna be late. At this point, I CANNOT AFFORD TO DO THAT.

For tonight, I blocked out two hours of my evening for this family. Their session was to be from 4pm to 6pm. My family was running behind and gave me a courtesy call to let me know. I appreciated their thoughtfulness. They arrived at 5pm, we shot and they were out the door at 6pm (still within their time slot). They still paid for the full session and even threw in what I would call a "tip". I made more than I set forth to make for tonight's session.

No harm, no foul. Or so I thought.

Being on Facebook, as most of the world seems to be, I made an innocent remark about my family being late, which then spawned an outbreak of rage from people I know that disagreed with my way of handling things, ranging from comments telling me to request they reschedule, to pointing out that I am letting them walk all over me and should not put up with that kind of crap.

Which is not the way I view it at all.

Indeed, I felt I was being berated for being such a naive pushover that doesn't know any better.

I went ahead and I did my shoot, which consisted of one hour of shooting and not two, as originally understood it would be, and upon returning to my laptop, I found a mile of thread addressing me in a somewhat condescending manner...as if I were an ignorant child.

Why other people were so passionate and enraged about a simple status update is beyond me as there was no inconvenience to me. The family is the one that lost an hour of shooting resulting in less images and less bang for their buck.

I did state more than once, in an effort to end the crazy thread, that as the family was late, they will only get half a session resulting in less images costing them the full price. Not that this was taken into consideration or seen as a reasonable resolution...nonetheless, I made it clear and I will say it again...

I lost nothing tonight. The family arrived, we shot and they were out the door still within their block of time. I was paid a full session fee for half a session, plus some.

I am not an ignorant moron, there is method to my madness. The first part of sales is customer service. At least, that's what the last 15 years of working in customer service/tech support and sales support has taught me. But, what do I know?

Yes, I know. I repeated myself a bit here, but it seems that I must do that in order to be heard.

Soup, Soup and More Soup

2010-01-25T12:11:00.000-08:00

Several months ago, I broke out the crock pot and began "souping" and "stewing" on a very regular basis.

The idea behind this was to make one night of "cooking" last most of the week. This was for budgeting reasons as well as keeping me out of the kitchen...because I have better things to do.

You're right, eating the same soup or stew for 3-5 days isn't fun, but eating isn't about fun these days, it's about fueling the body and watching the budget (we only buy half the groceries we normally would). To remedy this, we'll add a sandwich or a salad here and there.

As a result of this new budget friendly diet, we both noticed some weight loss.

Hellzyeeah!!

But, don't get too excited for me, yet...my mother-in-law has been visiting for a month and she cooks with cream sauces, gravies and unreasonable amounts of cheese.

She LOVES to cook and has been cooking for us for the entire month. Yeah, I'm pretty backed up and feeling bloated...needing a laxative...in case you were wondering, and I don't think you were. I've gained a few pounds, as well.

2 steps forward and 5 steps back!

Sabotage. Well, nonetheless, today is her last day with us so I decided that I needed to stock up the kitchen with my soup ingredients and cereals (I like to live on cereal, too).

I'm preparing to crock pot first thing tomorrow (and take a laxative!).

Let's get some regularity around here in more than one meaning of the word!

The MIL is heading out today and I have been missing my soups and missing my pants fitting me comfortably.

Was it a sign from the Zeus telling me that today is the day to get back on the soups diet? The two events just happening to converge on this one day is uncanny and somewhat paranormal.

Okay, that's a little dramatic but still...

Of all the days to discover a couple of links that sing the praises of homemade soups...

Soup Therapy: Detoxify, Lose Weight and Boost Immunity

Healthy Soups

Apparently what I had been doing, before the sabotage visit, was good for us.

My husband can just kiss my arse and eat my soups.

An Evening With Groucho...

2010-01-25T11:10:00.000-08:00

Frank Ferrante is coming to San Rafael in April and I would love nothing more than to see him live, a second time.

So, in a non-traditional post where I pretty much say nothing, I just want to say that Frank Ferrante is a genius...as was...the legendary Groucho Marx.

If you are a Marx Brother's fan, mainly a Groucho fan, I want you to enjoy Frank Ferrante, because frankly speaking (no pun intended!), everyone should enjoy Frank Ferrante...

My Daddy's Bad Ass 1968 Chevy Nova

2010-01-23T23:29:00.000-08:00

My brain wanders when I'm driving...I realized something the other day while driving to the old stompin' grounds for a much needed respite...

My dad owns a 1968 Chevy Nova; bumblebee yellow.

It's sweet.

It's chromy (no, I don't think that's a real word).

It's cherry.

He is the second owner and I can honestly say that, since his purchase of it in 1970, he is the ONLY person that has ever driven it.

It was me that spent many a childhood day, hanging with dad, washing, waxing, and buffing that car.

Drying it was a tedious task...hated the chamois cloths and the twisting and wringing...yet, I never complained and even looked forward to caring for that car every Saturday...because, that's what the old man did on Saturday.

(...and now, I don't dry my own cars after washing them because I've just had enough of those chamois towels...thanks, dad.)

It was me that spent many hours sitting on the cold garage floor passing tools to the disembodied hand coming out from underneath that baby.

I pumped the brakes.

I gently massaged the interior with Armor All.

In the summer, I burned my ass on the seats before every trip and learned not to wear shorts when riding in it.

That car has been taunting me and taking advantage of me my entire life.

All the dudes at my high school wanted it and stared as I was dropped off every morning by my daddy in his bad ass muscle car.

I'm about to turn 34.

I've been a licensed driver for 18 years.

I've driven a lot of cars during that time, and if there is any car in the world that I deserve to cruise around the block just once, it's the '68.

IT IS MY BIRTH RIGHT.

I can hear the resounding "NO" when I tell him I'm going to take it for a spin during my next visit.

I love you, dad.

Photoshoppin'

2010-01-22T10:26:00.000-08:00

My Fix-it-Friday contribution over at the MS Photography blog...

Click it to check it! Fix-it-Friday #41

The i-need Massaging Eye Mask!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-21T23:08:00.000-08:00

Earlier this week, my mother-in-law received the i-need Massaging Eye Mask from Brookstone as a gift from her oldest friend. She showed me the the box and I immediately thought "WTH??".

Apparently, she thought the same thing. We both thought it to be an odd contraption upon first glance and began speculating as to what exactly it was going do to your eyes, and why anyone in their right mind would want to wrap this around their head. Honestly, it was the thought of having your eyes massaged that really struck us as odd.

I don't know about her, but I envisioned it pummeling the wearer's eye balls.

From that point on, we were on a mission. What DOES this thing do and is it wonderful?

A battery run was in order.

Batteries were purchased, and the wicked contraption was liberated from it's packaging with childlike eagerness! The MIL was the first to strap it to her head and I, of course, just LMAO at the sight of her! Sadly, I was so busy laughing that I forgot to take a picture and now I can get no one in the house to model the damn thing!

When my MIL finally powered that baby up the only thing I heard was from her was, "Oh"; a single, solitary "Oh"; her tone indicating that she was somewhat dismayed, surprised and confused all at once.

She ended her maiden eye massaging experience abruptly; she promptly placed it back into it's packaging and wondered out loud, "Did she give me a gift receipt?".

So! Of course, I took such joy in her confusion that I had to try it for myself!

This thing has a hand-held control that is attached to the mask via a wire. Said hand-held control has 2 silver buttons on it; power and session.

There are 3 sessions:
Relieve—gradual full inflation delivers wave-like pressure and relief.
Refresh—progressive inflation and then deflation around the eyes.
Soothe—squeeze-and-hold inflation provides maximum pressure relief for sinuses and temples

These sessions basically inflate and deflate the mask at varying intervals; I wasn't able to differentiate one from the other.

Once you've got this thing on your head, it's pitch black in there, and there's no looking at this control to know which button you're pushing or which session you're choosing. I suppose, you can hand it off to a second party and trust that he/she won't drop it into a glass of water causing your head to explode...or, just smoke a little.

I decided it would be smart if I studied the the buttons before wrapping it around my face. I figured it all out prior to installing my head into it and felt confident I would have a nice experience regardless of that "Oh".

So, there I went!

And I now fully understand the meaning and the tone behind my MIL's disturbed utterance of "Oh".

Let me sum up the experience:
I was blind folded by a giant blood pressure cuff that was squeezing my head and I was scared. Lots of squeezing. Lots...of squeezing...

I felt a little violated...serious head violation...

It was odd, to say the least.

Needless to say, we were more disturbed than relaxed for there is no massaging of any kind happening with that thing.

I would not recommend this product for those thinking they need their eyes massaged.

Really? An eye massage? Have you ever thought, "Oh, I could go for an eye massage"?

No. No, you haven't.

I would recommend this product to EVERYONE, if only for the comic enjoyment of just trying it one time.

SHE LOOKS PRETTY FREAKIN' HAPPY, DOESN'T SHE?

The i-need head squeezer received sad reviews. I find it amusing that the only rave review was given by a "staff reviewer" and not a consumer.

My Very Own Sinful No-Cook Faux Cheesecake

2010-01-21T19:17:00.000-08:00

I've never seen this anywhere and I didn't do any research on whether or not this is an actual recipe in some part of the country. It was just an idea I had.

Therefore, I will call it "My Very Own". Let's pretend I'm an evil genius.

Recipe is as follows, people! So, pay attention!

Preparation level: a monkey could do it.
Preparation time: super fast.
Calories: who cares? Hit the treadmill after consuming.

You will need:
1 large pre-made graham cracker crust
2 boxes of Jello Sugar Free/Fat Free pudding, cheesecake flavor
1 8oz container of Kraft Philadelphia whipped cream cheese
2 3/4 cups of milk (I used 2%)

Directions:
Place cream cheese and milk into a mixing bowl and whip until smooth. I used one of these babies...

Add both boxes of pudding and continue to whip until mixture is smooth and begins to thicken.

Pour mixture into pie crust and spread evenly.

Chill and serve.

Serving suggestion:
Top with grated or powdered chocolate and garnish with mint in the center for presentation...or not.

Enjoy profusely!!!!!!!!

Random Blog-matter

2010-01-21T10:09:00.000-08:00

So, I was looking for a topic, Blog-matter, if you will, and decided to put 4 topics into a hat. These four topics were completely random. I then chose blindly.

The topics were:
1. rabbits
2. plants
3. crafting
4. punctuation

From the cowboy hat, punctuation was drawn.

What can I say about punctuation?

It's really important. Um...

Yeah...

Not everyone can use it correctly...um. Take the ellipses for example...uh...

Seriously, this experiment in choosing Blog-matter isn't going well.

So, here...

Did you know?

Ellipsis (plural ellipses; from the Greek: ἔλλειψις, élleipsis, "omission") is a mark or series of marks that usually indicate an intentional omission of a word or a phrase from the original text. An ellipsis can also be used to indicate a pause in speech, an unfinished thought, or, at the end of a sentence, a trailing off into silence (aposiopesis) (apostrophe and elipsis mixed). The ellipsis calls for a slight pause in speech.
The most common form of an ellipsis is a row of three periods or full stops (...) or pre-composed triple-dot glyph (…). The usage of the em dash (—) can overlap the usage of ellipsis.
The triple-dot punctuation mark is also called a suspension point, points of ellipsis, periods of ellipsis, or colloquially, dot-dot-dot.

And that's all I've got. So, sally forth into the world and punctuate!

Blog Addiction

2010-01-21T09:32:00.000-08:00

Could I possibly be addicted to blogging? I think it's the only time I get to speak (type) on a somewhat adult level. It's really kind of like thinking out loud.

Or is it like talking to myself?

If that's the case one might say I'm a little eccentric...

or crazy.

Isn't there a fine line between the two?

It's my time to form sentences that are beyond a 6-year-old's level of comprehension. It's my time to just let words and ideas flow, not have to re-word, and then re-word again just to make sense to a 3-year-old.

It's a place where I don't have to repeat myself over and over and over and over and over and over...

Not to mention it gets me researching topics outside of my normal area of expertise which would be coloring books and other things along those lines.

Did you know that I know how to turn photos into coloring book pages?

No, seriously, I need to get some adult content in my life. Not the X-rated kind, just something more than the elementary school kind.

So, I've started blogging. I thought I'd never be one of those people. I thought I never really had anything all that interesting to say to anyone. I've always been really shy and can barely speak to people. Period.

Yet, here I sit blogging and not really caring if anyone reads or likes what I write about.

It's a kind of mommy therapy for me.

Lately, I find myself scanning the internet for interesting subject matter so that I can get my next blog fix. I suppose this gets me a little more connected to the world and Zeus knows I'm really disconnected. A LOT disconnected. Disconnected times ten.

I also think that the word "blog" should be capitalized each time it's used. Blogging has become a proper institution in itself in this electronic culture of ours and should be recognized as such. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna capitalize that baby from here on out.

Not only do I enjoy Blogging out loud, but I spend approximately 2 hours per day seeking out other Bloggers so that I may follow their adventures and form yet another connection, however loose it may be, to this world to which I am deeply disconnected due to my status as a haggard housewife and stay-at-home mother.

I can almost say, "I Blog, therefore, I am".

Let's face it, other than my nightly "alone time", which spans from 10:30pm to 1:00am, it's my only "me time". So, I enjoy it. So, I am addicted to Blogging.

On top of all that, I think it may actually be exercising my brain. If you can believe that.

Kindle Braces for Apple's Mystery Event

2010-01-20T19:10:00.000-08:00

In a recent post, I sang the praises of discovering the Kindle for PC application. I was, and still am, very excited about it. How timely a discovery, and funny that I should run across recent news regarding Kindle and some possible Apple competition.

Apple has confirmed a mystery event slated for January 27, 2010 to take place in San Francisco at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts.

Rumors are that Apple will introduce a tablet heavily aimed at the publishing industry and e-books. Though, many suspect it will be geared toward visual arts and music/video.

But you know how it is with rumors.

I'm curious to find out what Apple will be unveiling and will be tuning in to Ars Technica to find out come the big day.

Guess who else will be paying attention to this event...

Amazon.com, that's who.

The aforementioned rumors speculate that the tablet will be aimed directly at Amazon's Kindle.

This morning Amazon announced a hike in Kindle royalties paid to authors (with a slight catch) supposedly due to the looming Apple unveiling.

If you're curious about the details of this royalty hike, you can read about it here: Amazon hikes Kindle royalties to 70%...

The article said nothing about the reasonable Kindle book pricing being affected in any way.

In the meantime, as I live in a somewhat gadget oriented household, I'll be looking forward to the unveiling of Apple's mystery gadget, though, I don't think I'll be making any changes in my e-book platform.

Butterbeer Recipe

2010-01-20T10:42:00.000-08:00

Harry Potter chooses Butterbeer. Frankly, I choose a hard cider but he's just a kid so he can't hold his liquor like I can.

After trying to watch the most recent Harry Potter movie for the fifth time (either it's just way too long and my ADD keeps getting in the way or it's not all that exciting), I got to wondering if Butterbeer was a fantasy concoction or some factual and obscure British beverage.

Enter Google Search...

Miss Rowling stated in an interview that she wasn't sure what it was and she just made it up, however, it is indeed a factual, historic beverage.

In my search, I found many a recipe for this treat and thought I'd make a day of posting them as the weather is horrid and we're about to blow away to Munchkin Land, Toto.

So, here we go!

Recipe #1
The Tudor recipe calls for egg yolks and ale for you "of age" wizards and witches. It is courtesy of Historicalfoods.com and can be found here: Tudor Butter Beer (I'm going to make this one!)

Recipe #2
The next recipe is non-alcoholic and is courtesy of Bella Online's Quick Cooking Editor (who doesn't know about the actual thing). This is something she concocted to be served hot or cold and can be found here: What on Earth is Butterbeer?

Recipe #3
Last on the list is actually a list of Butter Beer recipes all with Harry Potter fans in mind. According to this site, these are the top ten best (and apparently kid friendly) Butter Beer recipes and can be found here on the Associated Content site listed under Lifestyle: Harry Potter: Top 10 Butterbeer Recipes by John Gugie

Have fun!!

Let Me Tell You About My Surrogate Family...

2010-01-19T20:35:00.000-08:00

Consider this a little back story on me.

I met this chic in the 6th grade that I wouldn't normally have hung out with, but she was so pushy and loud that I just couldn't tell her to go away because she wouldn't have it even if I tried (her balls were brassier than mine). She placed herself into my life so emphatically, as if it were in our destinies and could not be re-written for there are three crones that weave the tapestry of fate and to ask them to unravel it would be a serious offense punishable by death. So, I went with it.

We go into a lot of trouble together.

After 23 years (almost 24!), we are still very close friends, in fact, she can no longer be called "friend" and has been "sister" to me for many, many years. She has been more my sister in those 23 years than my own sister has ever been in 33 years. No matter how petty or how monstrous our disagreements, we were always drawn back together like nothing ever happened.

Though she is thousands of miles away, we still talk 2-3 times a day and I can't imagine my life without her in it. She is the Jo to my Beth.

She also came with a family...

...who unofficially, adopted me by the 8th grade.

Visiting with them always hosts a flood of emotion. They made such an impact on me as an impressionable teenager. Just looking around the house at all of the brick-a-brack that "Ma" is to famous for brings back memories of my happiest and most contented times. Funny enough, looking around at all of my own brick-a-brack, it's very obvious that Ma was a major influence for me.

To this day, Junior stills puts the fear of a higher being in me. I remember he was usually on deployment during our childhood but when he was home, he was frightening. We always feared arousing the wrath of the Puerto Rican military dad. These days, he doesn't make us cut the grass as punishment but we would if he asked.

Little Kait was just a wee baby when I first saw her. She's a typical little sister and certainly, a typical twenty-something these days. I miss, love and want to beat sense into her, all at the same time.

These people have been an ever-present force in my life and I love them dearly.

Yes, Kirst, I'm PMSing and feeling very emotional and nostalgic.

There's Something About a Storm...

2010-01-19T09:33:00.000-08:00

The storm is ON! We're expecting a good fight. The power keeps threatening to go out. A flicker here and a flicker there.

I feel sad that I had to send my little man out into the world. If only I could have kept him home, warm and dry. On days like this, I hate that he is in the hands of people other than mommy. That goes for the big man, as well.

The wind chimes sound as if they are waging war on the house. Banging and clanging. Some are crying for help.

I feel like crying today. I think the lack of sunlight is getting to me. Winter Blues have finally taken hold and the claws are deep within my flesh.

Rain and more rain today. Wind gusts of up to 45 mph. At times, the wind is more frightening than the rain and dark clouds.

Cabin Fever is paying a visit, too. Winter Blues and Cabin Fever usually visit as a couple. They never go visiting the one without the other.

I think I'd feel a little better about this weather and being home if I didn't have so much weighing on my mind. If only the house was cleaned and projects were done. If only I was finished with school and were working. If only the mortgage wasn't late. If only Summer were here...

Right. As if Summer makes it all better.

There's something about a storm that makes me restless...

Cardboard Penii and Scotch Tape

2010-01-18T18:33:00.000-08:00

Toshi: Why don't mommy and Boo have penises?

Dad: Girls don't have penises.

Toshi: Maybe we should make some out of cardboard.

Dad: What?

Toshi: Then we can stick them on with tape.

Oh, yeah. My kid's an engineer.

Normally, I like to include pictures with my posts for some visual interest, but, I didn't want to attempt a search on "cardboard penis" for fear of what might assault my eyeballs.

Random Factoids

2010-01-18T15:19:00.000-08:00

The Hobbit's Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 77-8025

The word 'lethologica' describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

Stressed is desserts spelled backwards.

Cats can hear ultrasound.

The Irish used to carve potatoes for Halloween. The tradition was brought to America and morphed into pumpkin carving.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Female Hamster: Sow
Male Hamster: Boar
Hamster Young: Pups

The coconut is the largest seed in the world.

Gene Kelly did his own stunts.

Betchoo didn't know that.

About Twilight...

2010-01-18T11:49:00.000-08:00

I haven't read the books and up until a few months ago I suspected that Twilight might have been a SciFi Channel series but couldn't really be sure and didn't really care to find out. EVERYONE was talking about it and eventually I learned about the books, and the movies, and blah blah.

What is this I keep hearing about sparkly vampires? Sparkly vampires are being frowned upon and Buffy keeps slaying Edward (Go, Team Buffy!!! RIP Anya!).

My husband dragged home a copy of New Moon a little while back. He said he thought I'd be interested in it. Apparently, he has no idea that I was under the impression that this Twilight phenomenon was a television series. Um, what makes you think I'd be interested, babe?

I didn't give our possession of New Moon a second thought until last night. Our son requested a scary movie. Yes, I know he's only 6 years old but he's got a thing for zombies, vampires and ghosts. Where did he ever acquire these interests? I say!

I didn't want to frighten him too much so I thought New Moon might be more his speed. He was cool with it and how in the heck did I get sucked into it???

So, now I've seen New Moon.

Without reading the books and without having seen the first movie, I have to say that I actually enjoyed it. I didn't even try to enjoy it, I was just sucked in. I must be vulnerable as I'm still mourning the ending of Buffy and Angel.

I found I was able to follow New Moon without much back story on Bella and Edward. I know they had a love thang and I think that's basically all you need to know unless you really want to get into it. Of course, I do plan to see the first movie, because the more back story the better, right? I'm just saying you could watch New Moon without knowing much and still enjoy it.

I do have one complaint and that is this...

THE WEREWOLVES LOOKED TOO MUCH LIKE CARTOON CHARACTERS.

I did enjoy the imagery of the movie in that it wasn't too fantastical. Considering that it's a movie about mythical creatures, the imagery was somewhat realistic. Okay, right? And then there are the bulbous, cartoon-like werewolves. They kind of threw the whole thing off for me.

Then the movie ends SUDDENLY and I went "Oh, sh*t".

Obviously, they are setting up for another movie. Yes, Eclipse is in post-production. Great, how Harry Potter-esque. They just keep going and going and going...

There's ANOTHER ONE?? Of course there is.

I swore that I would not get sucked in to this Twilight crap and, well, I failed. But, only a little.

I will by no means go the way of the serious Twilight geeks, but I can say that I am interested in seeing the first movie and will probably see the next.

I refuse to read the books. I will not be one of those Bella/Edward groupies. I now understand the sparkly references and that's good enough for me.

Besides, I'm still working on the Tolkien series.

Edward's got nothing on Angel...

The BFF Collective To-Do List

2010-01-18T02:00:00.000-08:00

Dang it! I know we had a to-do list going! "Write to-do list down" was apparently not on the list! Before the holidays it was a pretty considerable list.

We said we'd get started after the holidays and we're only down to one item on this list! It's because we didn't write anything down!

I guess we'll just go with that one item!

We make a great team! I love you, man!

The Worst Smell EVER!

2010-01-17T16:33:00.000-08:00

Oh, yeah. Decaying sea snail.

Well, it's up there in my top 5 worst smells ever. Let me run down the list for you just for shits and giggles.

5. Sippie cup/baby bottle full of milk, left in the car, in the summer, for a week

4. Four-year-old vomit when consisting of milk and grape juice

3. The ooze that comes out of your ear lobes after your earrings have irritated the crap out of them

2. Rotting sea snail

and topping the list...

1. Rotting cat carcass

Two weeks ago I put a shell in my camera case for the sake of my son. He loves combing the beach for shells but doesn't always want to tote them around for the rest of the day. In steps mommy. Yeah, I realized he had handed me a sea snail shell and I just assumed it had been vacated. But you know what happens when you assume! You end up with a Lowepro camera case that smells like vagina.

Yes, I should not have been shell collecting at this particular point as it is a California State Preserve and I have apparently been punished for doing so. Not only did my camera case smell like vagina, my DSLR still does.

I had no idea this THING was marinating in my camera case.

Yesterday, I grabbed my case to prep for a day out, and let me tell you, it was by no means pleasant! The camera has retained the smell which is something like salt water, seaweed, and rotting flesh. I rubbed a fabric softener sheet all over and it helped just a tiny bit. I took the camera (and left the case at home) on the outing and continued to get whiffs of this decaying snail throughout the day and hoped no one within the vicinity of my person would think it was me emitting this horrid odor. Turns out, my strap was the culprit.

This morning, I tossed both the strap and the bag into the washing machine in hopes of reviving them.

Hey, did you know that Lowepro camera cases float in water? How do they expect you to get the rotten smell of snail out of them if they float on top of the waterline while in the machine???

I spent quite a bit of time with my arm inside the washing machine, dunking and soaking the bag and much to my surprise, it smells brand new.

This whole thing has been the laugh of the household and I'm so glad it's over.

The Bride Has Decided

2010-01-16T11:03:00.000-08:00

The Bride has decided on her Save the Date options and she went with my favorite design. She's got style! She says it's absolutely perfect and needs no tweaking! I love when that happens!

She was an extreme pleasure to work with. I'm glad I could have helped her check off her wedding to-do list however small the task.

I want to give a shout out to my old friend Shari Connolly (formerly Shari Davison, fellow Vanden High Alum, Go Vikings!). Congratulations to my Shari, whom I have always loved dearly even when I had no idea where in the world she was. You've grown into such a wonderful woman and I'm so proud of all you've accomplished! Jeff is a lucky man! Winterguard RULES! Okay...enough embarrassing myself.

Please feel free to contact me about custom photo cards for all occasions.
-Birth Announcements
-Save the Dates/Engagement Announcements
-Holiday Cards
-Graduation

Custom Blog Headers

2010-01-15T19:41:00.000-08:00

Need a blog header?

Word Confusion

2010-01-15T16:36:00.000-08:00

In my old age (33 yrs), I have developed some word confusion. I can attribute this only to my age as it is the only thing that is ever-changing. I have never suffered from any head injuries in my lifetime (at least not that I remember! *insert SarcMark*). If I have some kind of memory altering disease, I am completely unaware of it. More than likely, it's due to motherhood, and a lack of adult-world stimulation and interactions, that I seem to be losing my mind.

I've noticed a marked increase in word confusion since the onset of motherhood. Sometimes, I laugh at myself but truly this does concern me and I fear early onset of Alzheimer's.

Is it just me? Or, does this happen to most mother's? When did I become so scattered?

Examples of my word confusion:
When intending to say "I have to vacuum the floor", what comes out of my mouth is "I have to iron the floor" and vice versa. This is the most frequent, vacuum and iron are confused on a routine basis. I tell myself that these two things are so easily interchanged because the arm motion of vacuuming and ironing is the same.

When intending to say "Get a tissue", while looking directly at the tissue box, what comes out of my mouth is "Get your shoes". I told myself these were interchanged due to the SHH sound and because my mother-in-law talking about getting her shoes on.

I try to convince myself that these occurrences are flukes. Try as I might, I still don't believe it.

Sounds funny, doesn't it? It's a little weird. My brain is slowly dieing. I'm certain of it. I may have to hold services for it and flush it down the toilet.

Vampire Tales: The Darkangel

2010-01-14T15:45:00.000-08:00

Who doesn't love a vampire tale?

I have been searching for The Darkangel (Book I in a trilogy) for a very long time for I had read it in the 5th grade, which was EONS ago, and became involved, enraptured and lost in the fantasy of it.

It made such an impression on me that I believe I read it more than once and I am certain that I would enjoy reading it again, as an adult. Thinking back, I'm sure it's not a book a child of that age should have been reading. Although it was penned for the young adult market, perhaps, I could have been slightly older, so say my now mom-senses. Nonetheless, I read and I enjoyed.

I thought I'd give the search another shot and succeeded this time around.

It was originally published in 1982 with a second edition printed in 2007 with a new cover. I can't wait to get my hands on a copy. Sadly, it is not available for Kindle though I did click to petition the publisher to issue a Kindle edition.

Winner of two awards, I recommend this for those that need a quick, easy fix of vampire fantasy. Intended for the young adult demographic, it will most certainly be enjoyed by adults, as well. You can find the original edition on Amazon starting at $0.25. How's that for a treat?

The Darkangel (Book I) by Meredith Ann Pierce
Summary
"Aeriel is kidnapped by the darkangel, a black-winged vampire of astounding beauty and youth, and taken to his castle keep. There, she must serve his thirteen wives, wraiths whose souls he has stolen away.

Aeriel knows that she must kill the darkangel before he takes his fourteenth bride and comes into full power, but she is captivated by his magnificent beauty and intrigued by the spark of goodness she sees inside him.

Will Aeriel risk damning all of humanity to save the darkangel’s soul, or can she end his reign of beautiful terror before he finds his final bride?"

Book II

A Gathering of Gargoyles

Book III

The Pearl of the Soul of the World

Arrrrrgh!!

2010-01-14T10:07:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, it sounds like the Avast lady in your computer says PIRATE. Sometimes, I do stupid crap...

...like this.

Yes. That's a rendering of my husband and his other wife slapped together using various clip art, rectangles, and font (his eye is a V and that's a V at the back of his bandana). I was apparently really bored some night way back in 2007 and whipped this up using MS Digital Image Standard and Photoshop 7.

This is the way I see him. He was only slightly amused. I thought it was hilarious. I still do, actually.

Oh, that's a C for the earring.

Well, I laughed!!
I think I have more of these somewhere...

Designed for Jeffrey Camarata and Shari Connolly

2010-01-13T19:39:00.000-08:00

I hadn't intended to blog these but Yahoo was giving me a hard time and locked up on me when attaching the PDFs to email to the couple. This is the next best way (and the quickest) to share them with the happy couple and show off my handy-dandy, random computer skills in the process. Please feel free to contact me about custom photo cards for any occasion!

Here are images of Save the Date options I recently designed for Jeffrey and Shari.

You can click the images for a larger view. Once you are viewing the images in a new window, you may find them to be too small or too large. To adjust your zoom, use CTRL + or - (plus or minus) until you get it to a comfortable size.

Option 1 Front and Back

Option 2 Front and Back

Option 3 Front and Back

Google Books: More Free Stuff

2010-01-12T22:53:00.000-08:00

Google Books? Who knew? *shrug* Not me.

Earlier today, I stumbled upon the Kindle application for PC and have literally been reading all day. The Kindle Store on Amazon offers many free books which seem to fall into the realm of out-of-copyright, out-of-print and public domain, so most of these books are from the 18 and 1900s, and some even more antiquated. Such is the case with Project Gutenberg, though, I was finding only portions of these works were available due to it being a volunteer project (it's been some time since I've visited Project Gutenberg, so this may be cured).

I'm okay with antiquated literature; I look for it. *nerd*

The Kindle Store, of course, offers more current works at very reasonable prices. So far, the only thing that I find inconvenient about the Kindle Store is that the free books offer no descriptions as to content or plot.

I know.

The book is free so if you "purchase" it, you don't lose anything, but I still want to know what the hell it's all about.

Yes, I'm getting there, bear with me...

As I browsed through the Kindle Store's free books I turned to Google to get plot summaries or premise or what have you. In doing so, I stumbled upon Google Books.

As with the Kindle Store's free books (and Project Gutenberg), Google Books offers out-of-print, out-of-copyright and somewhat antiquated works either online or via PDF at no cost. It also acts as a "book broker", if you will, and will provide you with a list of online stores and pricing, for the still current works, so that you can get the best deal. Who doesn't love a good deal?

But I like free stuff. Don't you?

Once at the Google Books main page, look over the left side-bar and choose your genre. Once there, check the left side-bar again and select Public Domain Only for free works.

Enjoy!

*click here for further information on Google Books*

Kindle for PC

2010-01-12T08:50:00.000-08:00

So! My mother-in-law received a Kindle this Christmas and brought it with her (while she visits). She's been downloading free books like mad and I'm so jealous. Pre-children, I read a fair amount and my unofficial resolution for 2010 is to read more even if it kills me, and I'm not talking Green Eggs and Ham and dinosaur books. I do plenty of that!

I was alerted via Amazon that a Lewis Carroll book is available, and, being a lover of Charles Ludwig Dodgson aka Lewis Carroll, I clicked the link. When I saw the Kindle version was free I became further covetous of the Kindle.

I began to research possible ways to convert Kindle files for PC use (because we like to do things the hard way around here) and stumbled on what I feel is a very exciting discovery and apparently not widely advertised (because the powers-that-be would like you to spend the $260.00 on the Kindle) and that (discovery) be this: A Free Kindle Application for Your PC

For those that consume books like ravenous dogs (and I know a few people that do this), this is thrilling. I have already downloaded it and "purchased" a long desired copy of Little Women which cost me zero dollars. Mind you, not all books are free, however, books for Kindle are indeed far less in cost than an actual book.

This application works much like Steam, for those PC gamers that love to read.

You simply create an account (if you don't already have one), download the application, purchase books and consume!

The books are saved to your account and can be accessed from any PC as long as you have the Kindle application on it.

Aha! Yes! Just like your Steam games! Sorta. But different. But the same.

There are some other synchronizing thingy-ma-jingies that can be done with the Kindle but the only reason you should really be interested in this application is because you don't have a Kindle! Right? Of course, right.

So, get yourself an Amazon account and then hit up this link:
Kindle Application for PC

Voila! Enjoy!

Mountain Dew Apple Dumplings

2010-01-11T17:22:00.000-08:00

Yes. Mountain Dew...

AND CREAM CHEESE!! Which is my own twist on this recipe. If you choose to, slather some cream cheese on the dough before rolling the apple slice. Enjoy!

Ingredients

2 large Granny Smith apples, peeled and cored
2 (10 ounce) cans refrigerated crescent roll dough
1 cup butter
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 (12 fluid ounce) can or bottle Mountain Dew ™

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a 9x13 inch baking dish.
Cut each apple into 8 wedges and set aside. Separate the crescent roll dough into triangles. Roll each apple wedge in crescent roll dough starting at the smallest end. Pinch to seal and place in the baking dish.
Melt butter in a small saucepan and stir in the sugar and cinnamon. Pour over the apple dumplings. Pour Mountain Dew™ over the dumplings.
Bake for 35 to 45 minutes in the preheated oven, or until golden brown.

I'm a Crappy Buddhist

2010-01-10T16:27:00.000-08:00

I went to temple with my mother today for a New Year blessing. Because my birthday is but a few weeks away, the monks did a joint prayer in honor of the upcoming celebration of my appearance on this earth, and may I have a good 34th year of life.

Growing up, one of my favorite things to hear has always been the chanting and praying of the monks. I find it soothing and it always fills me with emotion, regardless of the fact that my Thai is horrible and I don't understand anything that is being said. Nonetheless, I was there, my heart was in it and I have been blessed today.

I have always thought that they should issue a CD. I would totally buy that.

So, I would never say that I am a devout Buddhist. To be a devout Buddhist, one must pray and meditate on a daily basis. My mother dedicates nearly an hour a day to it and attends temple about 2-3 times a month. I've tried and I just don't seem to have the discipline.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't believe or have the respect. I was raised in a Buddhist household. Buddhism is firmly implanted in me and I've been to temple plenty. I also feel that I really do need to go more and, indeed, want to go more.

But, my problem is this:

I have the attention span of a toddler.

Plain and simple.

As the monks prayed over me, specifically over me, I found myself spacing out as I tried to figure out the pattern in the rug I was kneeling on. I found myself wondering about the lives of the monks. They are human and they use toilet paper and wear socks (which never occurred to me before because I always viewed them as god-like). They really do and I brought them some, so they must!

This is what happens to me. This is why I can't meditate.

I've taken my shrine down because I felt so guilty that it sat dormant due to the fact that I suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder.

I haven't made any resolutions for the New Year but if I were to make one, it would have to be to try to focus more on meditation and going to temple as I am most certainly, without a doubt, a crappy Buddhist.

It doesn't help that I was born and raised in this Western World and infused with a confusing mixture of Western and Asian culture, but still, I'm blaming it all on the ADD. I'm like a 3-year-old that is easily distracted. I don't know how to remedy this. Perhaps when I'm older I'll be able to dedicate more of myself to Buddhism? That remains to be seen and one can only hope.

Another thing I was pondering during the blessing: I've also noticed that the monks aren't as old as they used to be when I was growing up. The new generation has been phased in. They are young and hip, slightly more laid back and relaxed. They even told me to hit up their website to view the photos they were about to take of my mother and I post-blessing.

Today was a good day; somewhat nostalgic. It's harder for my mother to get me to church now that I have children of my own. There used to be a time that she would throw me in the car whenever she wanted to and drag me (kicking and screaming) to church and I hated it just like all of the other kids there.

Despite the fact that I hated going, I have fond memories of it. Now, isn't that odd?

It's too cold to just be running around in only gold cloth, if you ask me, so I'm sure those hip dudes will enjoy the socks we donated today.

As the monks have blessed me today in honor of the New Year, I hope everyone I love has a happy and healthy 2010.

And thanks to my mom for looking out for me!

It's Craptastic!

2010-01-06T15:27:00.000-08:00

I don't know where I picked up this "word", but yes, Fatale- Tale of Tales is just that. CRAP-TASTIC. Oh, thank GAWD it was only $7.00.

Hmm...what can I say about this?

Artsy fartsy.

Barely interactive.

Non-traditional controls and no way to re-map them. Couldn't keep my hand off WASD.

Just go with the arrow keys! Don't try to figure it out!

It wasn't intuitive.

If I was new to gaming, this may have been interesting. However, as I'm just coming off a Morrowind bender, I really hate it.

Playing I Spy Spooky Mansion with my 6-year-old is more fun than Fatale.

No, I didn't read the reviews (or much regarding this "game", for that matter), but, for the price, I thought I wouldn't lose much.

In fact, I gained some Z's because I think I fell asleep.

There is no real challenge.

The music is soothing, the ambient noise is soothing, the graphics are okay and probably the best thing about it.

A wave machine is soothing and looking at one is just okay, too.

What's that all about? A wave machine?

Well, this game and a wave machine will both put you to sleep. Get a wave machine if that's what you're looking for.

Give me strategy, the ability to explore and go questing. Give me dialogue. Give me AI interaction. Give me epic battles and complicated controls.

You can keep your quasi-interactive digital-storybook.

Definitely experimental. I'd say the experiment failed.

Good for the casual gamer.

Hardcore adventure gamers should steer clear of this piece of craptastic eye-candy. Just don't do it.

The creators look like their idea of a party is to shop the Sun Flower Market and wax existential while sipping dandelion tea. Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just not very exciting, much like this game.

It's Just Common Courtesy...

2010-01-05T08:42:00.000-08:00

Well, for most people it is! I would never block someone's driveway. You would never block someone's driveway. Most people would think to themselves, "If I park here, this person will have a hard time leaving and just may hit my car on the way out".

Because we're smarter than that.

It's common courtesy. It's just not something you do unless you want your car towed or you want someone backing into it (like a pissed off homeowner trying to get out of their own private driveway).

We have these "neighbors" that we have a parking issue with. They are renting and so it seems as if they just don't care about the people around them. At least, I am assuming that they would have more respect if they actually owned the house they occupy. Don't sh*t where you sleep, right?

Perhaps, I'm being presumptuous.

At one point, they had about 6-8 vehicles that would converge on the house every evening and then again on the weekends making it impossible for neighbor's guests to find parking when visiting. Usually, they just make it hard for us to get in and out of our driveway.

They have a habit of parking just at the very edge of the driveway, just an inch outside the driveway, far enough out not to have the cops called but just close enough that the we have to skim their bumper getting out...and oh, if I scratch your bumper you idiot you deserve that and so much more because you have more vehicles than is normal for a single family home that normally would have just 1-2 adults residing within it and please stop parking in front of my house and standing around in the middle of the night in my yard having conversations with your homeys outside of my kid's bedroom windows because they can hear you and I am really hoping your landlord doesn't renew your lease this year and you take all your cars with you and all the foot traffic that comes with it!!!

I am not annoyed. Not one bit.

My husband had to back out of the driveway sideways this morning. He had to back down, pull forward again at an angle, turn the wheel hard right, back down again and still just barely missed hitting the truck that was so inconveniently in front of our house with 4 feet of truck bed hanging out in the driveway. Who does that? Seriously? Who?

Yes, I feel like a jerk for calling the cops. I feel like a jerk because I have a guilt complex and even when I am perfectly in the right, I feel bad about things. I really hate that. I was told that if a vehicle is blocking the driveway directly in front of the garage, then it is in violation. This is the case this morning. I was told that someone would be out to have it removed. What that means, I don't know. Perhaps, a knock on the door and a reprimand? Perhaps, it will be towed?

I feel like a jerk. But you parked in front of my driveway. You'd be pissed off if I parked in front of your driveway.

Crystals and things

2010-01-01T21:12:00.000-08:00

Well, it's the first day of the New Year. Note to self: buy new calendar.

I have already broken a "resolution". Okay, it wasn't really a resolution so much as a "maybe, if I have enough motivation, I'll do this" kind of a thing. I had pondered a 365 project and indeed did take a photo (thanks to the hot air balloon that chanced over the area, visible from my front yard), but, I really just don't feel that I have the motivation to keep up with it for another 364 days, and so, I shall quit while I am ahead ---or behind--- or however you would like to look at it.

I spent most of this New Year's day sleeping on the sofa suffering from female afflictions. Yay, for having a uterus! I woke up far too early this morning after having stayed up far to late the night before watching classic film, as I have been known to do. I did a load of laundry. Exciting stuff, eh? I also made an apple pie from scratch and ate two slices which I should not have done. However, having not made any diet resolutions, I wasn't feeling too badly about it. Although, I did tell myself that I really should start reading more (as I did pre-children; is it possible?), and I have been able to live up to that, so far. As of 3 days ago, I unintentionally have 3 books going. How long will that last? We shall soon find out.

The husband and the boy put on mad-scientist goggles this afternoon and cooked up some crystals that are now growing in a cabinet in the hall where there should be linens. Everyone is quite excited about this project. It's the most excitement we've had around here in a long time. No flashy bells and whistles and lasers kinds of toys for my kid for Christmas. No sir. We're cultivating nerds in this house. He picked this crystal growing kit on his own when Grandma took him for the yearly New-Year's-Day-Toys-R-Us-shopping-trip. I am proud of my nerd, aka future bully-target.

With the passing of the holidays, I made quick business of the Christmas tree tear-down as I was feeling quite refreshed after my iron deficiency-induced slumber. I have my living room back and I am already plotting and planning a way to build the tree at half it's regular size for next holiday (still feeling a little humbug).

I'm now thinking that I will brave the darkness and cold in order to clean the inside of my car so that I can do it in private and not have my actions documented. Happy New Year to the Kravitz's.

When it doubt, poke it with a stick....

2009-12-29T09:06:00.000-08:00

Sometimes random thoughts get stuck in the folds of my brain (the sulci) and I tend to dwell on certain matters. I just need to ramble and make no sense. It helps sort things out and clears the cupboards, if you will. If you are easily offended, click away.

And now, a series of vents and rants...

I reserve the right to refuse service.

Well it would have helped if you had organized your sh*t a bit more, now wouldn't it? Two words: cluster f*ck.

The other day I saw a man walking down the street while playing a ukulele and I didn't have my camera.

I am way too nice to people and really need to grow a pair. A REALLY LARGE PAIR. Made of brass. Then I could tell people to kiss my brass without feeling bad about it.

When you're telling me how to be a mother (because you're obviously doing such a great job) or that homosexuals have made a choice and will answer to God, I really just want to tell you what an ignorant moron I have always thought you to be. This where that REALLY LARGE PAIR would come in handy. Please, kiss my brass.

I used to keep my cars extremely pristine but I just don't have that kind of time anymore with kids around. However, I do tend to keep my kids really pristine. Perhaps, that's where all my time went?

This town could surely use some cultural diversity. Cultural Diversity, I miss you and I wish you were here.

True friends are few and far between. Mine are not only few and far between, they are far away, too.

My mother-in-law is flying in today and I am not ready. Am I ever really ready for my mother-in-law?

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42...

What I really thought about that bit of information was: Really? I hope a cultured family moves in.

It is often assumed that I am 17 years of age. I don't believe I appear to be 17, but that seems to be the general impression and so I am treated as if I have the experiences of a 17-year-old under my belt and nothing beyond that. It's annoying, yet, a small victory at the same time. Ironic. You know that happens when you assume? You make an ASS out of U and ME.

Just put your customer service face on and smile. I do this, for the sake of social politics, and it really has to stop.

Some people should pay more mind to their own affairs and less to the affairs of their neighbors.

I've had it with this dog and wish someone had just left her in the bushes where she was found.

My photography is falling by the wayside, once again. Thank you obligatory, time-consuming, holiday celebrating that I feel I could do without.

My photography has become too commercial. I hate it. I hate photographing people.

I miss Merry Melodies.

Please, don't speak to my children as if they have special needs. I speak proper English to them and I expect you to do the same.

Why would you assume that I don't have a religion? Is it because I'm Asian or because I wear a lot of black? I'm polytheistic, that's a thousand times better!

My husband is a really cool guy. I got pretty lucky. He's like my dad in a lot of ways. What would Freud say?

I don't have enough creative people in my life.

I dream of spending an entire month at the beach doing absolutely nothing.

I keep seeing shadows moving passed the doorway of the other room. I'm hallucinating or my house is haunted.

Sometimes, I just need to be mean and angry. It makes me feel better. I wish I was better at it. It doesn't come easy.

The cupboards have been cleared...

To Resolve or Not to Resolve? That is the Question.

2009-12-28T15:13:00.000-08:00

Why do people fuss so over the ending of the old year and the coming of the new?

Most probably because it's a tradition going back hundreds of years and people can't break habits the way they break New Year resolutions.

I give up on caring about the end of one year and the start of the next. When you really think about it and break it down, it changes nothing but the calendar pages. I resolve to not make a list of resolutions that I cannot live up to. I have no expectations for 2010 and just want to survive it.

Aha! That will be my resolution: I plan to live until the end of 2010. Simple enough and I feel it's doable.

Sure, for many, the New Year signifies a new chapter, a new beginning, and possibly, a new era depending on how ambitious you are. But when examining the past few years of my life, I find that, year to year, things have pretty much remained unchanged. Why should I expect 2010 to be any different and why should I try to make it any different? It seems like far too much hassle, if you ask me. Not that you're asking.

Perhaps, now that I have children, I've stopped gauging my life's chapters by the comings and goings of the year and have begun (without realizing it) to gauge chapters in my life, ending and starting, by the milestones of my children.

The stages of children can span years when they are in early life, and so, I find myself stuck in a stagnant pool of motherhood that will remain unchanged until my youngest begins school on a full-time basis, most probably.

That will be a "new year" for me. That is when I feel it will be okay to make resolutions and plans for a new and different lifestyle or what have you; for change. Something deep inside me feels that I must remain unchanged, steadfast, and sturdy for the sake of my ever-changing children.

Perhaps, once my children are at a more self-sufficient age, I will once again begin to celebrate the end of one year and resolve for the beginning of another.

For now, I am still just on the other side of the potty training threshold and the next stage of their little lives.

Until that phase comes, all I can do for this New Year is enjoy the fact that I am still considered to be in the phase of having "babies" in my home. I am slowly trying to make my way to that next phase of motherhood and that doesn't come with the New Year, at least, not this one.

Bette Davis: Larger Than Life

2009-12-25T20:24:00.000-08:00

With a love of classic film and a few actor bios in my collection, I usually get excited when I find a new bio to add to my wish list. Bette Davis is by far one of the most talented women ever to grace the movie screen and, most certainly, in my top 5 list. I'm told that one day my children will come to an age where I will once again find myself with time on my hands. With that time, I would love to read every biography I can get my sticky fingers on and lose myself in Hollywood's most celebrated era.

Article by TCM
“Until you’re known in my profession as a monster, you’re not a star,” Bette Davis once said. Let’s just say in Hollywood she was considered the ultimate star. The Academy Award-winning actress was one of the movies’ most riveting and volatile personalities both on and off the screen. She comes to life in the pages of BETTE DAVIS: LARGER THAN LIFE (Running Press) by Richard Schickel and George Perry, a lavish, fully illustrated tribute produced in conjunction with her estate. Bette Davis remains one of the most acclaimed and well-known stars in the history of film. Breaking new ground for women, she was a fighter who took on the Hollywood establishment at the drop of a dime. She reveled in lifelong feuds (such as with arch nemesis and co-star Joan Crawford). She was a mother, wife, and friend. She was also a no-nonsense New Englander who happened to have more talent than the movies seemed able to contain. Her personality leapt off the screen and earned her an unprecedented number of high-profile nominations and awards for her work in films like Jezebel, Dark Victory, All About Eve, and What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? As the epitaph on Davis’s tombstone reads, “She did it the hard way.” Through a biography, comprehensive filmography, and hundreds of rare photos, readers will find out why."

Eezy Peezy Blogger Signatures

2009-12-23T23:48:00.000-08:00

Check it out.

DIY whenever possible, I say.

I learned something the other night while COMPLETELY REDOING the blog of my sister-from-another-mother. She had better love me MORE for that, too.

Did I mention I revamped every component of her blog? Header, background and signature. Yup. Everything. It hurt my index fingers. A LOT.

So, anyway, for the signature I looked up the "how-to", because it was something that wasn't quite intuitive for me, like most computer crap is, and found 2 ways to install the signature. I immediately realized they were both STOOPID (for my own reasons that I won't get into).

So, I thought I'd try it my way and yeah, I rock, because it worked just fine and was less complicated.

Here's an easy way to set up a custom blog signature, for you Blogger bloggers, that will automatically appear in every post. It only looks daunting and as if there are too many steps but that's just because I've uber broken it down. Not to mention, if you've managed to boot up a PC, log in and navigate your way here, you can probably handle this. Here's hoping you can open a JPEG!

Step 1. Design your blog signature. If you're graphic art challenged or technically challenged or whatever the case may be, ask your best friend of 23 years to design it for you.

Step 2. Upload it to your favorite image host. Preferably a free image host. I'm all about free shit. Oh, ahem, excuse me! I'm all about free STUFF.

Step 3. Re-size your image via your image host. Not too big so that your signature overpowers your post, but not so small that the font is illegible and negligible.

Step 4. Copy the HTML code provided by the image host.

Step 5. Go into your Dashboard and then into your Layout tab.

Step 6. Under the Layout tab, click Edit HTML to enter the HTML editor.

Step 7. Click the radio button to Expand Widget Templates and scroll down until you find the following code:
(div class='post-body entry-content')
      (data:post.body/)
      (div style='clear: both;'/>
(/div)

*NOTE: the parentheses will actually be one of these < and one of these >. Yeah, a pair of those which I apparently cannot post right next to one another due to some quirky HTML action that happens. The parentheses have been placed in the above code to keep the editor from thinking it is actual code being used in the formatting of this post. So, you will not see parentheses when looking for this code.

Step 8. (div class='post-body entry-content')
      (data:post.body/)
      (div style='clear: both;'/>
(/div)
PASTE YOUR IMAGE'S HTML CODE HERE BENEATH THIS DIVISION

Step 9. Be sure you click SAVE!

Voila! You are done and I'll drink to that! Your signature should look something like this...

Courtier to the Qween

2009-12-23T12:48:00.000-08:00

Original post made December 5, 2009 at Qweenie's Court
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"P" is for Poop

Do I need an introduction? Perhaps. I'm "Mare", as Qweenie has called me for the last 23 years. Our friendship started out innocently in an English class where the teacher's less-than-lady-like posture and disposition completely distracted us with a crotch shot every day for an hour. We were 11-year-old girls. She was the giggly one. Here we are, 23 years later, plotting and planning, as usual. We are still those little girls, only now, we're much taller and have our own children.

Those children are the very thing keeping our lives more than interesting in a way that only a mommy can understand. I have a 6-year-old boy and a 3.5-year-old girl. Both are very entertaining and mildly annoying at the same time. I love them with all my life.

My son, we'll call him "Lo", has a fascination with poop. Not the fecal matter itself, but the word and the thought of it. He finds it humorous in ways that I cannot explain. It sounds funny. It looks funny. To think about it is funny. To hear one say the word "poop" puts him into a hysterical, giggling fit that only stops when I use the "big voice" to tell him that poop, indeed, is not funny.

I walked away from him as he was doing his homework the other day. His task was to draw 3 items that begin with the letter "P". I thought this was an easy task not warranting supervision. So, ten minutes later my child brings his piece of artistic mastery to me and I proceed to quiz him.

Mom: "What's this triangle with the circles on it?"
Lo: "A piece of pizza."
Mom: "What's this circle with the little yellow square on it?"
Lo: "A pancake with butter on it."
Mom: "Is that a hot dog?"
Lo: "No."
Mom: "Then what is it?"
Lo: "It's a poop." (hysterics ensue)

Yes, it was a log. I shouldn't have (because my job is to set an example), but went ahead and laughed my ass off. Of course, I then proceeded to pick up the phone and dial. I had to share this with someone and who better to share it with than my BFF of 23 years?

She masterminded a plan that would then turn the poop into a dachshund "puppy" by adding legs, a head and a tail.

His teacher is none the wiser.

Today's bit of awesome mom-ness was brought to you by the letter "P".

Is it February yet?

2009-12-23T08:53:00.000-08:00

It's not that I don't like my mother-in-law...

It's just that this is going to be her third visit this year. She was just here in the Summer and the Spring.

Did I mention she was here last Christmas?

Did I mention this is going to be her third visit this year?

I don't mind that she's starting to come out more and more every year (we're up to 3x a year), it's that she stays for about 3-4 weeks at a time.

I don't mind that she usually buys her ticket before letting us know she's coming (that way we can't say no; those damn tickets are non-refundable).

Okay, I mind (a little), otherwise, I wouldn't be sitting here typing this up.

After about 2 weeks, it gets a little old and I begin to long for some normalcy (and PRIVACY).

A 1 1/2 week stay would be good. A 1 week stay would be good. Maybe for 2010 she can just visit in the Fall? For just 1 week?

I hate pretending to be a pleasant person in the morning and I want to walk around in my pajamas, without a bra, until 10am. I want to be a tired mother of 2 small, noisy children and just BE.

I hate that I feel I have to go easy on my kids when she's here.

I am determined to go banshee-crazy on my kids when I need to and not worry about Granny calling CPS on me.

Her impending arrival would be peachy as pie if I weren't feeling so humbug about the holidays. Though, seeing as how I am feeling like a real bitch this Christmas season, I could do without all of this visiting nonsense.

*rolling up sleeves*
I will put on my customer service face.

It's going to be another long-ass visit. I will need much alcohol and, several packs of cigarettes.

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore"...

2009-12-21T19:11:00.000-08:00

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I wandered, weak and leery,
Over to the ridiculously large and tall front door-
While bent over, nearly falling, suddenly there came a bawling,
As if someone loudly calling...

Why the butchered Poe? I'll tell you why. The UPS dude left a big package at the door. So, naturally, I opened the door, bent over, and dragged the box in. What else would I do? As I'm trudging back down the hall toward the main part of the house I am greeted by a loud ruckus and the vision of bodies twirling about the living room.

Oh, but what else do I hear? A tweet? A chirp?

Um, yeah, the UPS driver rang the doorbell, not the bird, silly.

"How the F**K did that happen!!??"

That is exactly what came out of my mouth as the husband, the dog, the Savannah cat AND both children attempted to corral a small bird for capture.

Great! It's a circus and I have front row seats!

I managed to get the dog and the beast cat under lock down, oh, and the littlest child who could not, for the life of her, cease her shrill screams which caused the bird to panic even more so.

Then the hunt began. We spent approximately a half hour chasing this bird around the house, with front door and back door wide open, in hopes that it would get a clue and take flight to freedom.

I, with broom in hand, nearly swatted it down just for the sake of just getting it out of the house before it could lose any more feathers (and deposit avian bird flu ) into my simmering pasta sauce. But, I took pity on the poor thing and decided not to practice my backhand on it. We love animals around here, which is only a small part of our flawed communal personality.

It flew down the hallway and took sanctuary on the bathroom floor in an attempt to catch it's breath. With it still, I could see that the top of it's head was bald and bleeding; it was trying to get height and scraped the ceiling several times leaving a trail of feathers in it's wake. I tried to throw a Halloween tee-shirt over it but to no avail.

We continued running about the house, flailing and cursing the damn thing.

It was trying to fly high; we decided to direct it toward the front door which is ridiculously TALL, (beyond any normal height for a door) with the plan that it could just fly right out.

Lo and behold! Success!

It was more excitement than any of us needed today. I'm sure the bird would agree.

Can I Wrap That for You?

2009-12-19T15:00:00.000-08:00

I believe that snark and sarcasm should always be packaged in the form of italicized font, quotation marks and parentheses.

For the holiday season, let's put a bow on top.

You just hear it better that way.

All I want for Christmas is snark and sarcasm.

Thank goodness, I know plenty of people with an abundance of it that are more than willing to hand it out. It wouldn't be Christmas without them and I am thankful for their company whether in physical presence or electronic.

Happy frackin' Holidays to all of you. You know who you are.

Do You Remember That One Actress?

2009-12-19T09:38:00.000-08:00

Those that know me know that the only kinds of movies I watch are the old kind.

Every now and then, when I'm firmly glued to the set viewing a classic gem, Turner Classic Movies quickly pulls together a beautifully arranged montage of clips and music honoring a fallen star. I never have to read the text at the bottom to know that a classic film star has passed. These montages are signature and easily recognized.

The latest TCM memorial honored actress Jennifer Jones.

Phylis Lee Isley, was born in 1919 and later changed her name to Jennifer Jones in 1949 for a screen test with legendary producer David O. Selznick, whom she later took as a second husband.

She was a leading lady in two dozen films and is know for such titles as The Song of Bernadette, Duel in the Sun, Portrait of Jennie, Love is a Many-Splendored Thing, and A Farewell to Arms, among many others.

Winning the Best Actress Oscar in 1943 for her first major film, The Song of Bernadette, she would go on to be nominated for five Academy Awards.

She starred with many a great leading men such as John Garfield, Joseph Cotton, Gregory Peck, Humphrey Bogart and Charlton Heston.

Jennifer Jones, Academy Award-winning actress of the Golden Era of Hollywood passed away in her home on Thursday. She was 90 years old and she was fabulous.

Christmas Vacation Has OFFICIALLY Begun

2009-12-19T01:46:00.000-08:00

Today was the last day of school before the holiday break. The season of giving is about to give me a 2-week-long migraine. The school-bound child enjoyed a pajama party with his classmates and greeted me with a blood stream full of sugary goodness this afternoon.

Who's idea was it to give 30 six-year-old children marshmallows, doughnuts, chocolate and cookies before sending them home? It's the teacher's quiet revenge. I'm certain of it. It's in her lesson plan: "Get even with parents of rambunctious children".

If I were a strategic mom, I'd have every single day planned out with activities and busy-making so as to keep the midgets in order and of my hair. Yes, I said "out of my hair", because, that is where they will be; in my hair and up my butt.

But, I'm not that kind of mom. I am a non-Stepford mom. I wing it. I like to consider it "free-style mothering". I'm sure some mother's would call it something else like "unorganized", but who cares. This works for me.

So far, the plan is to pick up all the dog shite from the backyard so I can shove the kids out the back door and lock it for I have one week to prepare for the mother-in-law's arrival (can I have more chaos, please?). Okay, I won't actually lock it, but I think of it frequently.

Perhaps, clone #1 can rake the leaves on Monday. Of course, that is, if he can muster up the dexterity to wield a rake. That should keep him busy.

And so, the slumber partying has begun. The Peanuts like to stay up (beyond the recommended bed time for children that are 6 and 3.5 years old) so that they can camp out in the living room to watch their favorite movies over and over and over and over...

They watch movies with the lights down for ambiance until they crash out.. It's a tradition with them and one of their favorite things to do. I remember doing the very same thing with my dad when I was a kid (I've blinked and suddenly I'm an adult).

I have fond memories of a makeshift bed on the living room floor whilst visions of Rankin & Bass movies dance in my head (and on HBO).

Shhh! Perhaps I shouldn't type so loudly. The children are strewn about the living room all a-snooze. I suppose I should gather them up and put them away.

Thus begins our Christmas vacation.

Blog is a Funny Werd

2009-12-19T00:43:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my gals for giving me something to do during my second bout of illness this cold and flu season.

What's better than sitting on the sofa for a week with nothing to do but feel miserable?

Sitting on the sofa for a week feeling miserable AND designing blog headers AND making things more colorful for everyone!

Check'em.

1. Beth
Treading Lightly on Powdered Sugar

2. Kirst
Qweenie's Court

3. Jewels
Crown Jewels

4. Did you get a load of my makeover? Roll your eyeballs around on the screen and absorb the visual cotton candy.

Need a new look? Check these sites out for easy to install, pre-made backgrounds.

Hot Bliggity Blog

and

The Cutest Blog on the Block

If you need a blog header, I might say yes if you ask nicely.

Sick Leave

2009-12-14T10:43:00.000-08:00

The husband called in sick today and is home. I'm on this weird biological schedule that makes me very territorial M-F from 7:30am-5:00pm. He is here during my open hours and I would like to stick a fork in his eye. Not to mention that I AM SICK, AS WELL. But, I peeled my slightly enlarged, maternal butt out of the bed, hit the shower, fed the school-bound kid, got him dressed, ready and out the door, REGARDLESS.

So, I started wondering; who would I call if I were so sick that I couldn't tend to my children and my home duties? Who says it's okay for mum to be sick as a dog? Who do I call to tell about my illness, and that I'm feeling so crappy all I want to do is lay on the sofa and watch paranormal reality shows? Who?

Let me tell you.

NO BODY.

That's who.

Mom's got the short end of the stick today.

Quote of the Day

2009-12-13T15:58:00.000-08:00

"The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable."
~Lane Olinghouse

Well, ain't that the truth!!?

Does He Know Us?

2009-12-13T08:30:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty certain that this is how it happened. Click the strip for a larger view and enjoy!

XKCD -a web comic by Randall Monroe

My Butt is Numb and I Need a Shower. What Can I Say?

2009-12-12T17:14:00.000-08:00

So, is it a bad thing that I've pretty much been on this sofa, in the same spot, since 6:30am? It's almost 5:00pm. I smell like dirty laundry and coffee. There is a permanent impression on my quads resembling a laptop. I needed a day like this, though it really didn't go as expected.

I had hoped today would be relaxing and somewhat refreshing. A break of sorts, if you will, from my daily, um, day. Children were present making it a day like any other for mum. The husband (the person whom I had hoped would relieve me from my weekly duties), had fallen asleep (very loudly, I might add), leaving me to my own personal insanity. Yay!

The ugly reality of my "day off"...

Why does she squeal and scream so loudly and so frequently? Why does he make her squeal and scream so loudly and so frequently? Is it a bad thing that I thought about drowning them today? I fantasized about sending them out to play in the rain...without jackets...and I would lock the door.

The children were browbeaten into submission and sent off to their rooms for a nap. I was doing some wishful thinking and foolishly expected some peace. They each came out, one at a time, looking for scraps like stray puppies. Of course, they aren't really hungry when they emerge from what should be sleep. A trend has evolved in the last few months where they seem to get hungry as soon as the words "nap time" or "bed time" roll off my tongue.

Odd, isn't it?

I know they aren't really hungry and that this is an avoidance tactic they have developed to play off of my maternal instincts; they know I can't refuse them food. So, I feed them (more than sufficiently) as a form of ironic punishment. Once finished, their little bellies are overly full and they are left feeling a little ill, belly-achy and bloated. I find a quiet victory in this.

Can I get a nap now?

I spent about a half hour chasing the cat around with a tazer. Okay, it was a squirt bottle, but still, I was annoyed with him all the same. The back of the Christmas tree is now laying on the floor and I just don't care. Bah humbug!

So, no rest for the weary today. I ended up creating this snazzy looking blog so that I can bitch and moan about how wonderful my life really is, because when I really think about it-

(and look beyond the cat hair, layers of dust, litter boxes, dirty dishes, pee-pee underwear, piles of laundry, unmade beds, cobwebs on the ceiling and chocolate milk stains on the carpet)

-I like that my chaos comes packaged in the form of two gorgeous children and a teddy bear of a man.

*gag!*